On MSN Messenger

Once you have registered
you must decide whether
to use your power
for good or evil. Most times,
I stick to Minesweeper
and innocuous chats about others,
pausing sometimes
to link my partner
to pictures of two-legged roo-dogs
filched from Bizarre.com.
Sometimes, however,
I lose my thread, allow
my own Green Goblin out to play, and post
insults about recently engaged friends,
links to shemale porn, so my fellow natterer's cookies
can't be scrubbed clean, winks that indicate
I've eaten their children. In the absence
of intonation, these can be potent.
I bipbip my absent boyfriend when drunk
in the company of others,
allowing them to type that they want him
to perform all manner of probings
upon them,
then I add my own two penneth,
pretending I'm Tera Patrick
when I'm more like Terry Wogan.
I turn over virtual game boards
when losing horribly, eschewing my duty
to post a gracious shake-hands smiley;
I curse their family, I block them when they bore me,
flounce off when I'm not even angry,
leaving an exhaust plume of ferocity
for them to puzzle through.

Why on earth is anyone still talking to me?