Isn't school great&;#063;

Act 1 scene 1.

(ROBIN and SKYE are sitting in the school canteen. A plate with a fried
egg and two waffles is on the table in front of SKYE. She is poking it
tentatively with a fork while ROBIN watches with a worried look on her
face. After a moment SKYE sets her fork down and pushes the plate
away.)
SKYE: I can't eat this.
ROBIN: (Rolls her eyes) Skye it's just an egg. It's not like you'll
have to battle it to the death before you can eat it.
SKYE: (staring pitifully at her plate) But it's a baby chicken. I can't
eat a chicken.
ROBIN: It's not a baby chicken. It never has been and it never will be.
The mother hen's shooting blanks.
SKYE: Huh?
(ROBIN leans forward and whispers an explanation in SKYE's ear. A
stunned expression appears on SKYE'S face. She stares at the plate
before her.)
SKYE: Well&;#8230;when you put it like that&;#8230;
(She cuts a large chunk out of the egg and shovels it into her mouth.
ROBIN sits back with a satisfied look on her face. She produces a ham
sandwich from the depths of her blazer and takes a bite. A group of
boys enter the canteen. ROBIN smiles and waves them over.)
TYLER: Hello ladies.
(He pulls up a chair and leans on the back of it. ROBIN and SKYE look
around in confusion as the other boys sit down at the table.)
SKYE: (through a mouthful of egg) Ladies? Where?
TYLER: (rolls his eyes) never mind.
BAILEY: Are you eating an egg? (He nods at SKYE)
SKYE: Oh no it's okay. Robin explained it to me. The hen's shooting
blanks.
(The boys all look at each other and shrug. JAKE's the first to ask the
question on everyone's mind.)
JAKE: (cocking an eyebrow) Uh-huh. And what exactly did she tell
you?
ROBIN: (grinning cheekily) I'm sure you can guess.
BAILEY: Now what have we told you about corrupting innocent
minds?
ROBIN: Not to start until you're here?
BAILEY: Oh ha ha. Very funny&;#8230;I don't think.
TYLER: So what d'you guys have next period?
ROBIN: We're all in P.E. remember? Or did you erase the terrible
haunting memories of the last time you participated?
(TYLER turns a bright red and takes great interest in a piece of
chewing gum stuck to the underside of the table. BAILEY and JAKE break
into hysterics and SKYE looks confused.)
BAILEY: (Through fits of giggles) You should&;#8230;have seen him.
Banged&;#8230;right into&;#8230;
(BAILEY bursts into laughter and falls off his chair. ROBIN looks under
the table and sees BAILEY rolling around on his back still laughing.
JAKE picks up the story)
JAKE: Banged right into a lamp post. He had a bump the size of
Everest!
(A new wave of hysteria could be heard from under the table. TYLER
grins sheepishly at ROBIN who is smiling as she recalls the moment.
SKYE stifles a laugh and fills her mouth with egg.)
TYLER: It's not a big deal&;#8230;
BAILEY: (reappearing from under the table) Not a big deal? Not a big
deal? Kids were pointing you out in the corridors for weeks. I can't
believe Skye didn't hear about it. You were even in the school
newspaper!
(BAILEY picks up his chair and sits down with a huge grin on his face.
TYLER glares half heartedly at him and then turns his attention to the
canteen door. A girl with pretty blond hair and dazzling blue eyes is
gazing around her at the full canteen.)
TYLER: Oh hello.
(The other boys turn to stare. ROBIN and SKYE roll their eyes in
unison. COURTNEY smiles at TYLER and walks over.)
COURTNEY: Hey is this seat taken?
ROBIN: Yeah it is.
TYLER: No it's not.
ROBIN: YES it IS
TYLER: Yes it is
ROBIN: Not it's not&;#8230;damn it.
TYLER: Ha. Sit yourself down&;#8230;um? What did you say your name
was?
COURTNEY: (sitting down beside TYLER) It's Courtney. You must be
Tyler.
ROBIN: How the hell did you know that?
COURTNEY: (with a pitying look at ROBIN) I heard about the lamp post
thing.
SKYE: But you're new.
BAILEY: So where are you from Courtney?
(COURTNEY starts into her life story while ROBIN and SKYE try to keep
from falling asleep. Finally a bell rings and the group leave for PE.
COURTNEY makes her excuses and leaves.)
TYLER: Wow.
JAKE: I know what you mean.
BAILEY: I think I'm in love.
ROBIN: I think I'm gonna puke.
TYLER: What's the matter with you?
ROBIN: What's the matter with me? Oh nothing, nothing at all. I wonder
how much all that surgery cost?
(SKYE, who happened to be drinking a bottle of water, burst into
laughter and then choked. JAKE quickly hits her on the back. TYLER
looks a little confused.)
TYLER: Watcha mean?
ROBIN: Ah you're still so young&;#8230;
(ROBIN pats him on the cheek. She and SKYE walk away, SKYE still
giggling. The boys watch them leave in confusion.)