Swimming With Sharks

My wings itch,
Swollen eyes burn
Stared so long into
Oblivion, cursing life
Its ridiculous cycles,
Many tears daydreaming
For far away better days,
When feeling numb, dumb
Devoid of truthful sight.
Is it wrong to want to be loved?

I gather pace. Relentless
Self preservation a gift,
Heavy weight of months
Shifts, clanks, breaks down
Into rocks, becoming pebbles.
I cry less
I laugh more
I sigh little
Gathering steady pace.
Pictures of you embedded
Become a little unstuck
Inside my head,
I see you, but not as much.
I walk upright, shoulders back,
Head held high,
My heart loosens,
No longer gripped with fear
You were everything I held dear.

Lies you told, mean little more
Than pretty candy wrapper,
You came wrapped in.
I eat more,
Sleep does not evade as before,
I imagine you not in my bed,
Nor cramming my every waking thought,
With words meant to rock my world,
I forget now what you said,
Something about forever love,
For us to be wed. Was it?
Now lingers at edge, sweet dreamy memory,
Built on little but drifting sand,
Slipped in, as I did,
Lost my footing in you,
Yet, not ready to drown.
Close ones call, I talk,
Hurts less when asked how is
My broken heart?
I simply reply
“I’m not broken yet!”
And we laugh, reflecting
Moments I fell apart as
You stripped down my life.

Strength of ten thousand men, would not
Break me; I’ve crawled too far on my journey,
In this fucked up life, it will take more than you
To make me lie down without a fight.

I’m breathing again, my own rhythm,
Like a baby born, inhaling,
Creating space on earth.
Slice of clear, fresh air,
Sweeps to cleanse all
For the first time,
Since you walked out of the door,
Out of my life.

Thank God.
I'm no longer swimming with sharks.