A Lovers Epiphany

Do we ever feel?
I mean truly
feel.
Are we ever just
lost?
Just feeling
empty?
Rage can lead to
consumption.

I'm tired.

When is enough
Actually enough?
When you push
and push
and push
as she pushes
and pushes
and pushes you back?
Is it love or just
Blindness.
Because you think you love them but
Do you really?
Or do you just want someone there
Someone.
There.

I'm so confused.

I want to hold on.
Never let go.
But I'm
suffocating.
Suffocating her.
I love her.
And she loves me.
But.
But she..
But she obviously wants something else.
There's love.
And then there's life.
Do you give up
love
for life?

Just words. Throw a blanket over it and ignore it.

I'm scared.
Scared I'll
lose
her. And I mean
truly
lose her.
I don't want that.
I want her.
Desperately.
That's why I can't.
Because she wants her life
Different to mine.
She wants to grow up
And run
And be independent.

And I want someone to hold.
To be
There for me.
To hold me back
And be there for me.

Sigh.

To think that I spent so long
So long.
Wishing,
Hoping,
Just clinging on to that tiny
inch.
Of hope.

But if you push too hard.
They push back harder.