The Golem

In the middle of a storm a few nights ago, a man in the house on the
hill was in his basement laboratory working feverishly on his latest
creation. He stood on a large ladder in his white lab coat and
carefully finished his work. "A few finishing touches here. A hand full
of clay over here would be nice. Yes! It is finally finished!" A burst
of lightning blazed outside as he laughed triumphantly.
The doctor stepped down from the ladder and back a little. The
scientist grabbed at the cloth that was covering the creation and
pulled it off of his work. There stood an eight-foot tall man made from
clay, also known as a golem. It was very heavily built with enormous
arms and legs. The creature, by hypothesis, could be born with the
ability to speak, read, and do menial tasks. Now was the chance to test
this theory.
"Now finally I can get some competent help around the lab. Those last
few assistants were just a waste of time". He walked around to inspect
the creature. The assistants that the doctor referred to were the
people that came to help him in the lab during his most difficult
experiments. However, they did not meet his standards. One was
vaporized during an experiment with ion rays. Another crushed to an
infinitely small size during an experiment with super massive
gravitational wells. When the doctor accidentally opened a hole in the
space-time continuum his last assistant disappeared along with most of
the doctor's most valuable notes.
"You're not going to do anything that stupid, are you, golem?" The
doctor waited anxiously for the creature's response.
"No." The word shook the books and beakers on the shelves, rattled the
windows and blew the doctor's hair back. The doctor readjusted his
glasses and started the process of deciding what to do with the golem
first. He decided to test the creature's abilities by handing him a
broom.
"Golem. Sweep the lab". The golem made a slight confirming moan and
started to sweep. The doctor was so pleased with his creation that he
decided to go upstairs to write his acceptance speech for the Nobel
Prize.
When the creature was finished, he noticed a book that was lying in the
corner that had fallen when he had first spoken. He picked it up and
opened it with his gigantic hand and read a few lines. It was a book on
how to play chess. On the table in the center of the room was the
doctor's chess set, which he used to practice for the town championship
every year. The golem walked over to the table and identified the
pieces as they appeared in the book. He sat down on the floor and
studied the pieces and their abilities long into the night.
The next morning, the doctor came down to find the floor of the lab
spotless. He walked over to the golem in a gleeful daze as he marveled
again at his creation.
"So, golem, did you have a good night?" The doctor held onto his
glasses and his pocket protector in anticipation of the response. The
golem nodded this time and pointed to the chess board. The doctor was
puzzled by this and asked the creature what he meant by that. The thing
walked over to the board and sat down in front of it. The doctor sat
down on the opposite end and waited. As the golem moved a piece, the
doctor almost fainted from joy. His creation was playing chess! He had
created a sophisticated life form capable of learning from his vast
experience and expertise.
After about an hour, the golem moved a piece to his desired position.
"Checkmate", it exclaimed as it put down its mighty hands to hold the
pieces in place. The doctor glanced around the board, checking to see
if the golem was right. He was. The doctor didn't know what to make of
this. He was the town champion of chess and now, his creation, born
yesterday, had beaten him at what he was best at and famous for. The
doctor stared at the golem over the top of his glasses and underneath
his furrowing brow. The golem's black eye sockets stared back at the
scientist, as they always did.
"You're right. Care for a re-match?"
The two played chess all day and the scientist's brain was starting to
feel the wear and tear of constant use. The doctor had won all the
games for that day except the first one. He stood up, shook the golem's
hand and went back upstairs. The golem stayed in the basement playing
the game and studying the moves portrayed in the book. A ceiling lamp
poured light onto his massive shoulders as he hunched over the
board.
For about six months, the doctor and the golem did nothing but play
chess. The poor doctor's brain began to wrap itself in knots trying to
defeat the lumbering hulk of clay. The doctor always won, but everyday
he had to sacrifice a little bit of his sanity in order to beat his
creation who seemed to get better and better all the time. The doctor,
hoping to keep one step ahead of the Golem starting doing weird brain
exercises thinking that they would enhance his mind so he could win
more easily against his creation. Knowing that fish is brain food, he
even went so far as to buy a fish at the grocery store and, once he
stepped in the door, ate the entire thing raw.
One day, during a particularly long game, the doctor gazed at the board
as the golem pondered his move. Why is this creature so good? He was
only born a few months ago, how can he be this good? I've been playing
this for my entire life and every time I play him, I just barely win
with a few pieces. Oh no! Maybe he's smarter than I am! No! Impossible!
Suddenly, the scientist's eyes lit up and a slight smile crept across
his face. Standing up, he tapped the creation on the head.
"Golem, I have a great idea. Why don't we really test those abilities
of yours in a chess tournament?" The golem looked up for a moment,
turned his head to the wall and pointed to a poster then looked back at
the doctor. The poster had a picture of the doctor on it from when he
won his thirty fifth consecutive championship.
"Yes, golem. The town chess tournament is coming up soon. I think we
should enter so we can really see what you're made of." The doctor's
voice sounded as if he was saying "I dare you" with every word. The
championship was in one week and the golem decided that he would enter,
much to the doctor's delight.

The day of the tournament was a day that no one in town would forget.
The doctor walked in with a stride that told everyone there who was
going to win this year's tournament. Then the golem squeezed himself
through the door frame and into the building. The tournament was broken
up by the age of the players. The champion of the children's league
would be one of the finalists for the grand tournament. Because the
Golem was just over six months old, he was entered into the children's
division.
The doctor played with amazing grace and ease, defeating most of his
opponents in under ten minutes. Playing other humans bored the doctor
now that he had found someone that was his intellectual equal at what
he was best at. He knew that today, his fate and reputation in town and
the scientific world would be decided. Amongst the town's people, he
would lose his chess crown. In the scientific circles, he would lose
face as a man that created something smarter than himself. He would not
let that happen.
Although the Golem was a masterful player, the children seemed to be
afraid to move their pieces. He won every match set against him. When
it came time for the champion of the children's league to face off
against the Golem, the child simply stared up at the creature with wide
eyes and fainted. Golem won the match by default on account of the
champion was unconscious. There had been twenty-eight contestants for
the chess trophy and now all that was left was the doctor and the
creature.
For four hours, the two played. They studied every possible move before
they made their final decision. The doctor held his head up in his
hands, his eyes drawn and dark and his skin pale and clammy. The Golem
stared blankly at the board, his face never showing the slightest hint
of emotion.
"Make your move already". The Golem held up a finger and looked down at
the board again. What's he doing? What was that finger supposed to
mean? Why is his move taking so long? Smart ass golem.
"You think you're so smart! Look at yourself. Pondering your moves like
you think you have the intellect and skill to match me. You're not as
smart as me. I know French, Herr Golem." The Golem looked up and picked
up a stray stick off of the floor. He scribbled something into his clay
hands and showed it to the doctor. The message read, "That was
German".
The doctor shot up out of his seat. "Shut up! Make your move already".
The Golem looked down and moved his piece. As the doctor sat down, he
glanced here and there across the board and suddenly, his hair stood on
end. The creature had left a hole open for the scientist's attack! He
could checkmate him in one move. His heart leaped about in his chest
with glee. He had created his own arch nemesis and now he was going to
show him who was the smarter of the two.
The doctor picked up a piece and, with a wide grin, placed it down on
the board. He proclaimed checkmate to all who would hear him. His
exclamation echoed throughout the town and some say you can still hear
it echoing in the valleys nearby. The doctor hopped out of his chair
and danced about the Golem, holding his trophy.

When they finally got home, the doctor placed the trophy on a shelf in
the basement where, he thought, it would continue to gloat for him. The
Golem sat back down at the table and continued to study the board. His
massive head glanced up and turned to the poster. The Golem imagined
his face, his picture on the poster holding the trophy with a caption
saying "Greatest Chess Player in Town" above him. His face stayed the
way it was, emotionless as he dreamed. Playing chess that day was the
most fun he'd ever had and one day he would make the doctor proud of
him by winning the tournament. He looked back down at the board, made
his move, made the white player's move and so on and continued into the
night.