Intimate Eyes : Eulogy for Geoff

Intimate Eyes : Eulogy for Geoff

Talking to Geoff was not like talking to the others. It was this way,
not just for me, but for all of us, all of his friends.

Geoff had been a friend for many years. He was just there one day and
that's how I met him. While some children feel threatened by an
unfamiliar face to the schoolyard, after an afternoon or two of
childhood fun, I had grown accustomed to him already, and he quickly
became just another one of my friends, just as he did for everyone else
we hung around the neighborhood with. It was like he'd always been
there and just gone unintroduced.

Geoff was never the most striking one of the group nor rarely the
center of attention, though always a piece of any combination of puzzle
that our clique formed. He wasn't the most out-spoken, the joker, the
boss, lacking any label to his personality like some are burdened with.
His personality didn't allow for it. Instead he was varying degrees of
all shades as if he took qualities of all of his compatriots into his
persona. Geoff could showcase traits familiar to each of us, but was
always something of himself - a distinct entity, part of a group, but
yet more separated from it than anyone one of us.

Some would describe Geoff as laid-back or mellow to their mistake. He
did get excited, agitated, annoyed like any one of us to a degree. It
was part of his well-rounded character that lacked nothing. Some would
argue this, saying he was content in the background and wasn't crack
jokes like everyone else. No, he didn't make us laugh with jokes, but
smile and amuse us with humor cloaked in sarcasm and ironic wit that
could sometimes go unnoticed. But Geoff wasn't mellow, not so much as
to merit such a quaint label. I wouldn't make the mistake to label him
laid-back, he only seemed that was as a result of his character.
Instead Geoff, he was an accepting soul. He viewed everyone in a
different and better light than us. You could tell by his eyes.

He possessed intimate eyes, older than his lanky teenage body, deep
ones. That is what we would open up to, his eyes that listened to us.
Each of us trusted Geoff to listen, care, support us, advise us. Even
when some people get lost in the group, especially the ones who were
rarely the loudest, we always asked for Geoff's voice. He was a nexus
for everyone's troubles.

Opening up to him, he always looked at me the same with those eyes,
understanding of my problems and faults. And it was the same way with
everyone he saw, accepting of all aspects of his friends. Even though
we may not have noticed at the time, it wasn't just one of us going to
Geoff. All for us felt the same way for it was his unprejudiced
treatment and unbiased caring that drew us to him. It was that attitude
that gave him the unique perspective, of knowing every side and
point-of-view of any action or issue any one of us was having. He was
in a position to give the best advice and he took that opportunity from
genuine caring for his friends. He was our mediator, our go-between. He
did all he could to manufacture solutions for our problems or to
alleviate the grief of our issues. And for this very reason, he was our
lynchpin. Without him, who can imagine how many times we would have
fallen or if we could have even been built this strong?

Ironically, this was Geoff's Achilles' heel. Though Geoff was always
listening, perhaps because of this, he rarely opened up. Only
occasionally he would let something slip, usually to let you know he
could relate to your problem or to comfort you, but never too much. At
first I thought it was a fault of his, one that could take blame from
us. But it wasn't, it was ours.

We never listened; none of us tried to open him up, not like he did at
least. He did it so easily. We didn't see him when he was in need like
his eyes could with only a glance. We never asked what he felt or at
least not enough. We forgot about his concerns in light of ours. We
never asked what he's seen to make his eyes so older and more
understanding than ours. And for that we're sorry.

We should have seen it, Geoff. We shouldn't have been the selfish
beings that we were, only focused on our own plights and not thinking
outside of ourselves. To blame it on youth would belittle you, no, we
take the responsibility for our actions. You were always there for us,
we should have seen your example and supported you. I would have done
anything for you, but my regret was not letting you know that. Now I am
conflicted. I failed my task at being a friend, one like Geoff always
was and I hurt because of that, but I also know Geoff. His eyes would
look me over, see my sorrow and forgive me for my shortcomings. His
eyes would still only show his understanding and sympathy he had for
each one of us. I may hurt, but I feel I have should be strong and try
to understand now as he did for me, for us. I can only imagine Geoff
having one wish for us, one thing he wants from us. To continue what he
did, to be his ears, his voice, and his heart. For each of us to have
eyes like his and see each of us in that same light that filled his
deep intimate eyes.

Thanks to Geoff, he built us strong. He gave us an example we needed
to achieve our potential. I can only hope he can grin in his sly
fashion when he looks at his handiwork that he left behind.