Émigré

Cherry

By chant

Sat, 08 Aug 2015
  • 1293 reads
8 comments
 

His lands are lofty mountains
ink blue and purple
in the peaks' shadows
sun-ruddled snow caps
chill chutes of glinting water
ash, linden, beech forests
brown bears and wolves aprowl.
Wherever we live we dream escape.
Despite anti-Romanian billboards
demagogues slamming EU leeches
“I long to go through the streets 
of your mighty London,” he says.
“Ordog, Pokol, stregoica, vlkoslak
we too have our superstitions.”
Leather-zipped, a cool hand clasp
he claims the melancholy shade
to be alone with his thoughts.
But the city nights - back 
streets, stars, strobe-lit 
dens, biting into fresh culture
“Don’t all thirst for life?”

@ianjmclachlan

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

Captured the inner and the external conflict really keenly, Ian.  I also admire the contrast between the home country and the city and how both have something going for them..  Was less sure about 'aprowl' seemed a little out of kilter with the assured contemporary voice of the rest.  And perhaps look again at the ninth line.  'Despite' seems a little imposed by the narrator when the rest is powerfully circumspect.  Hey, these are just my personal opinions on what is a very very good poem.  Well done again!

 

Submitted by chant on

hey scratch, thank you very much for the insightful feedback, and the comments about what's not working for you are especially helpful and appreciated. Ian

 

Submitted by EB on

'Wherever we live we dream escape.' Ain't that the truth. 

Submitted by chant on

hey EB, thanks for reading. Ian

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Ooh it's gorgeously stacked together with a zesty sharp feel of cultural conflict.

 

Submitted by chant on

thank you very much Vera. Ian :-)

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Such an important theme, explored with vivid imagery. I feel the melancholy shade of dimming hope.

Submitted by chant on

thanks Pat. Ian :-)