A World of dreams

My eyes hide a life of pain and suffering
My smile masks it and my head denies it
And yet when I sit all on my own,
and the tears fall almost as if I didn’t know
I feel the pain retch at my heart,
I know it exists but I try my best to keep it secret.

Locked away in till I get to see your sweet face again.
That’s how my love feels,
In a lonely and damp place hidden in my chest for so many years
Tears are the words I long to say escaping from broken dreams
That have always meant so much to me

Images I long to see,
That only appear when I close my eyes
And enter a world were I feel safe
It’s like I am a different person when you are with me
My heart finally remembers how to beat and I remember how to see

And then the morning sun,
Glows upon my cheek
I open my eyes and memories leave
And I remember I am not with you
And I wish that I could finally stop breathing.

All the pain then would disappear
Like your being it would be no more
A silent still
One moment that starts the beginning
A dream where we would be forever together.

But as it seems
Life tares at my wishes
And I carry on living
Without my heart
Without my love
Without the beat that helped me see
That made me breath
I’m a walking dead without you with me

For years now this is how its been
Just a shell of who I used to be
Looking through a window
Seeing in to what I’m doing
But having no say on it
I am not truly a human being

Since the last time I touched your cheek
Soothed your tears
Heard your cry
I have been living my life
But all that remains is a lie

So I fight through the day
To get to the night
Where my heart can be true
And I’m reunited with you.

My baby, My angel
How I miss you
But I pray you know when you look to the sky and see that stat twinkling bright
Mummy loves you more then your ever know and she never wanted to have to let you go.
You remain and forever will in my heart and in my memories and each night before I lay my head to sleep there is one thing I whisper praying you will once again enter my dreams, I love you baby x