Chronicles of Trumpenstein : All Hail the Peacemaker! (While America Shuts Down!) by Alfred N.Muggins (Rogue Reporter)

13/10/25
   And Trumpenstein came to Israel, blowing his own many trumpets, his peace deal now fully in progress. Well actually it was a ceasefire, the real peace would have to come after and they would all see what that could mean when it happened. It seemed that Trump was the only international figure who had the power to oblige Netanyahoo to call a ceasefire. 
     America gave Israel a large part of its war funding, every month without fail, while America's own people were denied funding from a congress which refused to make the deals which would agree the budget so the Federal workers could be paid. 
    Trump's advisors had told him it was time to oblige Israel to stop its war in Gaza, and to present the image of generous peacemaker once again, so Trump could gain the international applause for bringing the parties closer once again, to finish the final deal which needed to be made.
(He apparently even had high hopes that his belated efforts might give him the massive ego boost and propaganda coup of being awarded Norway's Nobel Peace Prize, but apparently they couldn't consider anyone whose peace efforts postdated February 2025, when he had been busy taking the Federal controls and getting his co-conspirator Musk to fire lots of government workers in the infamous DOGE cuts which allowed them to surrepticiously get their hands on lots of citizens and employees records. He might have to wait until next year for it, as long as this peace held that long, and as long as America didn't completely go up in flames and civil war before then, which, despite the immense caution of the Democrats, and even the pro Kirk MAGAs, seemed increasingly likely given Trump's National Guard and ICE provocations, and also the ongoing Government Budget Shutdown, which deprived government workers and even the military of their pay (but somehow not the Congressmen who refused to go back to work because they were being instructed to withstand the release of the Epstein files at all costs. You might have thought they would have been more worried about public opinion or the continuing support of the military!?))
    Indeed Alfred judged that only Trumpenstein, the powerful President could bring the Arab nations etc, the Europeans, Hamas, and the Palestinian Authority, and Israel together to make the deal. His ambassador Steve Witcoff did indeed work hard, doubtless with experienced Marc Rubio, to bring negotiations to a close, and Trumpenstein himself flew in to seal the deal and make the speeches on the day the surviving 20 Israeli hostages and the agreed 2000 Palestinian prisoners (weren't they hostages too? Why couldn't they call them that?) were to be exchanged/released. Indeed only Trumpenstein could stop the funds and the weapons flowing from America (First?) to little precious Israel (victim?!). Only Biden had threatened to stop the flow once or twice the previous year in order to oblige Israel to sanction the colonial settlers in the West Bank from taking more Palestinians' lands and lives, and to force the Israelis not to starve their enemies in Gaza and let the food convoys in. Indeed it occurred to Alfred, when prompted by various memes and threads he read, that actually Biden and his team had actually set up most of the framework of this Peace Deal while he was still in power last year. Trump took credit for actually being President while a six weeks ceasefire, with hostage swap, took place, (a hopeful breather in a relentless horror show of squid game-like decimation which even the Romans would have been proud of!)
     He left a country on the verge of civil conflict, in the midst of a Government budget shutdown, where Federal Workers in many occupations would not be paid, including professional soldiers, in the process of losing much of its foreign trade, and heading quite probably towards self inflicted recession, its immigrants scared to turn up for work unless they be snatched and put in detention centers, its Latino citizens worried if they would be snatched by mistake, having sent National Guard soldiers into cities and States which didn't want them or need them on their streets, against the wills of their Governors and Mayors. He left his America (First?!) to go to Israel, who get their weapons paid for by America, and whose citizens get free state paid health care, when Americans don't, to receive adulation and praise from Israelis for striking a final ceasefire deal with Hamas for getting the last few live Israeli hostages out (20).