the agoraphobic

with deep chartreuse eyes
big & peering through the crowd
assembled against her will
at her family’s home
she slowly makes it through
with arms folded & gripping herself
but the first attack is what sends them back &
it comes on like a tornado
hurdling over the plains, off in the distance,
and then as if without warning
tearing through her consciousness,
destroying all remnants of the immediate moment.

so she turns & runs back to the first room that she finds empty
locking the door behind her,
screaming to herself,
rocking backwards & forwards
wanting the comfort of her own dwelling
wanting to never leave again.

her breathing quickens,
she gasps & gasps
as if climbing to the surface of a lake in the winter
whose ice she has fallen through,
yet though she can see the sun through the translucent barrier,
she has not the strength to break the ice &
her heart is beating so fast
she feels as if it is going to explode in her chest.

rocking back & forth
rocking back & forth
whimpering & wishing she was back in her home
alone,
comfortable & safe.