past follows

funny how the past follows
just when you thought you got rid of
it,
funny how it rears its ugly head &
wants a piece of the new you to
remember being
less---
funny how the past taps one on the
shoulder,
at the moment of your greatest triumph
& brings you down
further than you
ever thought it
could---
funny how quick you can make a fist---
funny how quick you can grit your teeth---
funny how easy it is to open that reserve of
pure
unadulterated
anger,
RAGING INSIDE
RAGING INSIDE
RAGING INSIDE
(that’cha kept away quietly just for these
occasions, just behind the eyes where
you wanted it)
&
all of a sudden you’re right back where you
started,
all of a sudden you’re back in the habit,
all of a sudden you’ve wasted it all,
washed away every smidgeon of progress,
face to face with the disgusting,
real
you,
that you couldn’t gut out of yourself
with a fishing
knife.