pondering rudy

a. “did you hear about the naked guy who chewed the face off the other naked guy in miami over the weekend?”
b. “i did. fucking crazy, no? but he didn’t chew off his whole face---only a portion of it.”
a. “so you are gonna split hairs here? the guy ate another guy’s face---and they were both naked. what were two naked guys doing out on a major highway?”
b. “fucking.”
a. “and then what? after a moment of passion, they started eating one another?”
b. “no. only one guy was eating the other---and then when he wouldn’t stop eating, he got shot.”
a. “shit. yeah, but what were two naked guys out in broad daylight on a highway…”
b. “they say he was fucked up on something---acid or bath salts or pcp or whatever.”
a. “had to be on something---to be naked & all.”
b. “let me get this straight. it’s less important that one man was gnawing on another’s face for 18 minutes or so, until he had to be shot repeatedly in order to make him stop, than it was that two guys were naked somewhere.”
a. “fuck off. just saying it was weird. that’s all.”
b. “um, two guys naked---an exciting friday night. two guys naked in public in the daylight, on a major highway…getting weird. um, the whole chewing of the face thing, because one guy was tripping or hungry, or hungry and tripping---now, that shit is Hannibal Lecter shit, and that is the kind of stuff you wanna tell your grandchildren about.”