Before she died

When your sense of self 

becomes blurred,

 

Lost in patterns,

Fractured.

 

What had appeared whole,

Split personas.

 

Are any real?

Of any substance?

 

My beliefs

About myself,

 

life,

of existence itself,

 

I doubt my thoughts 

And question

 

From where they rise.

Shanty town -

 

My mind,

Made from scraps 

 

I found.

Trash to shelter,

 

Kept from storm

Or harm,

 

Worked but 

never kept me warm.

 

Flattened by tornado

That I myself sent

 

To teach me truth 

And live authentic

 

Truth stripped bare.

Where ribbons bedecked

 

Rusty tin scrap roof,

Pretending this was home,

 

Alone,

There is nought to dress

 

The reality bare.

I know there’s love

 

I’ve seen it 

Witnessed perfect presence

 

Felt the pureness

Of what could be

 

Having tasted 

I could end it here,

 

Drift unaware -

But life to me 

 

Does not belong 

not mine to take

 

And work is not yet done.

centred Continue -

 

Feel free...

Free to just be

 

Guarded I’ve been

But here I see

 

Here in this corner 

A place of safety 

 

Space to be me

Here in this silence

 

Words are felt

Sight of soft skin

 

Means something else...

Sincerity and 

 

naturalness

A moment blessed

 

True life is felt 

A shining light

 

from solar plexus

In love - We’re all connected. 

 

I dream my life at 

conscious edge

 

ebs and flows 

Comes and goes

 

It knows 

Not what is true 

 

What appears illusions 

Confusions and fusions 

 

Of imagined and real.

Steal a moment 

 

Sit with me in silence

Allow all thoughts 

 

Of who to drop away 

No me nor you

 

We’ll see what’s true 

In that truth we’ll play

 

Til’ death of mind

Steals my thoughts 

 

Erase the memories

False conditionings 

 

I am not 

I am not Any more

 

The story of ‘me’

Dissolved in questions

 

Naked, stripped bare

Of who we were

 

Words can’t tell

Us who we are 

 

Or who we think we ought to be 

In silence we are free. 

 

In silence 

true love I see. 

 

As I fade and disappear 

For once I’m here. 

 

For the moment 

Things are clear.