"Checkout" Scene Seven Supermarket Teashop Morning

“Checkout”

Scene Seven SupermarketTeashop Morning

The Spinster sisters, Olive and Gwen are seated at their usual table looking around just as Leanne and Mel arrive and sit at their usual table. Leanne is looking very agitated.

Olive:
Look those two girls are here again. Think they’d have something better to do with their time.

Gwen:
Like you said the other day probably don’t know what a day’s work is.

Mel:
What you going to have to eat?

Leanne:
Nothing…just a cup of tea.

Mel:
You’ve gotta eat.

Leanne:
I said no. Just get the tea.

Mel: (Fishing in her bag for her purse)
Oh, no I’ve left my purse in my other handbag!

Leanne:
Oh, this is turning into a perfect day! (Fishes in her bag for purse) Here, take what you need from here (Pulls purse out)

Mel:
Blimey! That’s a first.

Leanne:
I’m in no mood for sarcasm.

Mel:
Sorry, only a joke.

Leanne: (Seeing the sisters looking at them)
Those two old biddies keep staring at us.

Mel:
Yeah they’re always in here. Nothing better to do with their time.

Leanne:
Well they had better stop staring …the mood I’m in …

Mel:
Yeah, you do seem a bit down.

Leanne:
A bit down! So would you be…the news I’ve had today.
.
Olive:
I think they’re talking about us. What are they saying?

Gwen: (Leaning backwards towards girls)
Didn’t quite get it…something about news.

Olive:
News! What news? See if you can catch it.

Gwen:
Shush…

Mel:
What news?

Olive:
What she say?

Gwen:
Shush…

Leanne:
It’s Garry’s sister.

Olive:
What now

Gwen: (Half turning towards Olive) It’s Garry’s sister…

Olive:
Who’s Garry?

Mel:
What about Garry’s sister?

Leanne:
You’re not gonna believe this!

Gwen: (Half turning again)
You’re not gonna believe this?

Olive:
What?

Mel:
What?

Leanne:
I told you she had put on even more weight but I just thought she’d eaten a small country.

Gwen: (Turning)
Garry’s sister…she’s eaten a small country…

Olive:
The greedy mare!

Mel:
Yeah I remember now you said she looked bigger.

Gwen:
Looks bigger…

Olive:
Bigger?

Leanne:
Now I know why!

Olive:
You just said small…a small country!

Gwen:
Shush…

Mel:
So tell us…

Leanne:
She’s pregnant!

Gwen:
Pregnant!

Olive:
The country?

Mel:
She never is?

Gwen:
Never…

Olive:
Never: What’s that supposed to mean?

Leanne:
It’s true I tell you as I live and breathe

Gwen:
Lives and breathes…

Olive:
I should hope so.

Mel:
Well I’m astounded!

Gwen:
She’s astounded!

Olive:
Well, then she’s easily astounded because most sensible people breath.

Leanne:
But that’s not all.

Gwen:
Not all…

Mel:
No…
.
Leanne:
No! You’ll never guess who the father is?

Gwen:
Never guess who the father is…

Olive:
So long as he takes responsibility…tell her that!

Gwen:
I can’t it’s not our conversation.

Mel:
Who is it then?

Leanne:
It’s Mark!

Gwen:
It’s Mark!

Mel:
MARK!

Olive:
Mark?

Mel:
I don’t believe it! My Mark!

Gwen:
Her Mark…

Olive:
Well looks like he’s left his mark!

Leanne:
And that’s not all.

Gwen:
Not all…

Olive:
Never is!

Mel:
I can’t take any more of this.

Gwen:
Can’t take any more…

Olive:
Should have thought of all that before this.

Leanne:
You can’t! How do you think I feel? I had hopes for you and Mark.

Gwen:
Feels… Mark…

Olive:
Has the girl no shame?

Mel:
I thought being Bridesmaid would be the perfect opportunity sitting next to him.

Gwen:
Perfect opportunity…sitting next to him…

Olive:
What to feel him? The trollop!

Leanne: (Catching sight of the two women listening to their conversation)
What you gawping at?

Olive:
You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

Leanne:
Why don’t you mind your own business?

Olive:
Not while yours is so entertaining!

Mel: (Joining in)
What you talking about?

Olive:
Mark… that’s who we’re talking about.

Mel:
You know Mark?

Olive:
Hmmm…might do…

Mel:
Couldn’t put in a good word for me, could you?

Leanne:
You two faced cow!

Mel:
What, you know I’ve always fancied him?

Leanne:
Yeah, and you know I always have too!

Mel:
But you had Garry

Leanne:
Yeah but I haven’t got him now.

Gwen:
What, you’ve split with Garry?

Leanne:
Yeah, didn’t you know?

Olive:
It’s the first we’ve heard of it.

Leanne:
Irreconcilable differences!

Gwen:
Oh they can be nasty.

Olive:
Is that what I had that time. Put me in bed for a week.

Mel:
What with Mark?

Leanne:
Why do you always have to bring Mark into the conversation?

Mel:
No I don’t.

Leanne:
You do.

Olive:
Yes, you do.

Gwen:
I’ve noticed that too.

Mel:
Oh, well, I’m sorry.

Leanne:
Anyway, it’s no use talking about Mark any more

Olive:
Why’s that then, dear?

Leanne:
Because Mark’s run off with Garry’s sister and they’ve got married and I’ve just heard they’re emigrating to New Zealand!

Mel:
NO!

Olive:
No!

Gwen:
No!

Olive:
Well, who would have thought it? Mark and Garry’s sister…running off like that.

Leanne:
Anyway, I can’t sit round here all day. I’m going.

Olive:
Where you off to now then, dear?

Leanne:
Well, with Mark gone…I thought I’d just pop round and see Garry!

Leanne gets up.

Leanne: (With scarcely a look at Mel)
See you.

Leanne leaves but Mel continues sitting looking very downcast.

Mel:
No, Leanne, don’t you go worrying about me! Never thinks of anyone but herself, that one!

Olive:
Don’t upset yourself, dear.

Mel:
Can’t help it. I really thought I stood a chance with Mark.

Olive:
Oh, come on now, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Gwen:
Yeah, look on the bright side.

Olive:
You’ve no need to look so down in the mouth…Young girl like you. You need to get out more. Tell you what, I’ll introduce you to our Godson. You’ll like him …very popular with the ladies he is.

Gwen:
Who do you mean?

Olive:
Who do you think?

Gwen:
Not our…

Olive:
Yes!

GWEN:
CRISPIEN!

Olive:
Yes of course…Crispien! Don’t you worry love, he’ll soon put the smile back on your face.

The end