Gene Kelly - I Want A Word With You! (I.P.)

Gene Kelly – I Want A Word With You! (I.P.)

It was back in the nineteen sixties when we were flooded out. It was a Saturday night and I was waiting for my husband to come in from work. It had been raining steadily for best part of the week though not like the sudden deluges we get now. My husband came in and said it was still raining and that he had met with some big puddles and he was quite wet as passing cars had splashed him as he walked home from the station.

I started to serve up dinner but after a little while I could hear a noise so went into the hall and there I saw my carpet lifting and then I could see water coming in from under the door. I called to my husband and he came hurrying out and then we made the mistake of opening the front door and the water came rushing in. Within minutes we were up to our knees in our bungalow but outside in the garden the water level was up to our thighs. Well, if there’s one thing for sure my husband can be relied on in a crisis as he said,

“Well, it’s in now so we might as well have our dinner.”

I left him to it while I tried to rescue what I could. Pretty soon our neighbours from over the road saw we were in trouble and came to help. They were not flooded nor were the neighbours either side so most of the homes surrounding us had no idea we were being flooded because our bungalow was positioned at the lowest point. Unbelievably our situation was made worse by people coming to see the flooded road in their cars which pushed more water down towards our bungalow. My neighbours and I were doing our best to get soft furnishings up high and these included a very expensive pair of floor to ceiling velvet curtains which were my pride and joy as we had only just had them fitted. My husband meanwhile was busy tap dancing, yes, tap dancing while at the same time giving a fine rendition of “Singing in the Rain!”

It is true we were not in a life threatening situation but I would say it is a trifle unusual to have two pet German Shepherd dogs swimming about in one’s lounge, which I thought might have elucidated a different response from my husband but no, it would take more than that to upset my husband’s equilibrium. So he carried on singing and dancing while I and my neighbours who already thought we were a bit peculiar did our best to salvage what we could.

Our home was obviously now uninhabitable and by this time our fairly new next door neighbours had learned of our plight and they insisted we stayed with them but they had two dogs and we had our two German Shepherds but still they said the dogs were welcome too. So the next thing is we start wading our way through the thigh deep water which now had the contents of overturned dustbins floating around us and our two dogs continued to swim to dry land: namely, our neighbours’ front door step.

The neighbours insisted we came in through the front door, dogs as well, but these neighbours were a lot older than us and had a very nice home with thick carpets and very nice soft furnishings. Well now what is the first thing dogs do when wet and come into a dry area? Yes, they give a good shake and our dogs in keeping with tradition did precisely that and so splattered dirty water to the left and to the right of them while I was apologising profusely all the while. The neighbours, however, were quite unperturbed.

The man, Jack, was from Yorkshire and was General Foreman at Fords the car manufacturers and his wife, Joyce, was Welsh and didn’t go out to work. He had come to Fords from British Leyland and had a British Leyland car which Fords would not allow him to put in their car park so that he eventually had to buy a Ford car. Although they hadn’t lived next door to us for very long and with us being out at work we didn’t see that much of them but we were on quite friendly terms as they had been very grateful to us because when, on the night they moved in, their house being a new build meant they had no light bulbs so we had taken some of ours out and given them to the couple. Such a small thing but something they never forgot.

There was another reason why my husband, in particular, took a liking to Jack and that was because he made his own beer and was always popping his head over the wall and inviting Derek, my husband, to join him in a “snifter!” Well, this home made beer was pretty lethal stuff and I can remember a time when Derek and some of his brothers and one particular brother in law were cementing a new In and Out driveway in our front garden. The brother in law being something of a cook was going to cook the dinner for all of us as I would be at work. Well, I arrived home to find my front garden littered with the bodies of my inebriated brothers in law and no dinner and my neighbour sober as a judge saying he couldn’t understand it they had only had a “Snifter!” Apparently the boys had been wolf-whistling all the old but respectable ladies as they went past, needless to say this was yet another occasion when I had to wear a disguise on leaving the house!

Anyway back to the floods. These very kind neighbours insisted we stay with them until the water went down and we had cleaned up our bungalow to the level needed to make it inhabitable again. This took many days as it was more that a couple of days waiting for the water level to drop. In that time we occupied ourselves with going to our friends boarding kennels and selecting two puppies to buy that would be the foundation of what we hoped would be the start of our own line in breeding show quality German Shepherds. It’s important at times like these that one recognises what the true priorities are. Anyway, Derek and Jack cemented their friendship so to speak by enjoying many a “Snifter” while we lived with them.

Eventually the water went down and we could get back in to our home to start the long and arduous job of cleaning up. Word went out to the family that we were in trouble and soon helpers started arriving. One of my sisters in laws now sadly suffering from dementia took every bit of washing home with her and remember this was not just a normal week’s washing it was every bit of linen I possessed. Countless pairs of sheets, tablecloths, cotton curtains everything including clothes. Other family members helped to pull up all the carpets and drag them, heavy with water, outside into the garden. Then we started to clean the walls and the floor which fortunately was a solid rubber coated floor as well as cleaning everything we owned.

Then the Insurance Assessor came one day to see how badly we were affected. Now our Insurance Agent had become a friend and a short time before we were flooded he said he needed to speak to us not as a friend but as an Insurance Agent as he felt we were under insured so, on his advice, we upped our insurance. The Insurance Company’s Assessor arrived and after seeing inside the bungalow he then went into the garden to see the carpets we had thrown out.

Then, quite unbelievably, he said we should have unrolled the carpets so that they could be cleaned. My husband seemed to grow ten feet in stature as he was incandescent with rage and said there was no way we would accept those carpets back in our home no matter how many times they were cleaned. All the while this argument ensued between the Assessor and my very irate husband, Ron, our Insurance Agent was stood behind the Assessor shaking his head. Finally, the man said an independent Assessor would be appointed to look at our situation and then things would move forward on receiving his report.

This satisfied my husband to the extent that he resumed his former height. Come the day the independent Assessor arrives I am expecting fireworks but he came in took one look around saw the carpets and said yes we had been hit very bad and he would be recommending a payout in full. The buildings insurance reacted in the same way as they too paid out in full. We knew our claim was reasonable as the brother in law that liked cooking was also an Insurance Agent and he had advised us.

I have the utmost sympathy for the people who get flooded out now as it happens time and again as our weather becomes more unpredictable and insurance companies are much more reluctant to insure homes prone to flooding. It seems to me that the purpose of insurance is to cover oneself against risk but it seems to me also that insurance companies want to refuse to insure anything that carries a risk. How then do they justify their premiums?

Anyway, we eventually moved back in to our re-decorated home and writing this, if you will forgive me, has brought the memory of those days flooding back!

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