Such Nice People...Them Tax Collectors! (I.P.)

Such Nice People - Them Tax Collectors! (I.P.)

The form said time to complete your tax return.
If they ever listened they might just learn.
They had made another mistake, you see,
But it turns out they want money from me.

I’m retired now and they know that’s true.
‘So what,’ they said, ‘send it or we’ll get you.’
‘But I’ve got no money,’ I quickly said,
‘Look at this statement, see, I’m in the red.’

‘You rich people always plead that you’re broke,
But we’ll see you pay from birth till you croak.
We know you’ve got plenty stashed well away,
And there’s no mistake, we’ll make sure you pay!’

They told me they would take all my money.
I begged I pleaded, well, it’s not funny.
They said, ‘You should have paid PAYE,
Instead you took a trip to Hawaii!’

Now they’ve instructed Damn, Blast & Sodit,
Commissioners for Oaths, that like to lord it.
They used to solicit, but now they share,
In a legal business that likes to swear.

It’s so funny I want to laugh out loud,
There’s a silver lining in every cloud.
What am I laughing at, well, here’s the craic,
They only think I’m sending money back!

It would be so stupid if I did that.
Let them set their mackerel to catch a sprat.
Meanwhile I’m living the life of Riley,
Because this sprat is still in Hawaii!