Baa, Baa Politically-Correct Sheep...
By dino_j_rock
- 3862 reads
Blah, Blah Politically Correct Sheep
Baa, baa black sheep have you -
Hey, hey who said the sheep was black?
Pardon?
U bein' prejudice brother? Yo, ya get ur motherfuckin' man sheep as
shove it up ur arse. Y ain't it no white sheep? Spanish sheep?
Motherfuckin' oriental sheep. You know what I'm saying yo?
Erm&;#8230; so what do you want?
I want peace and unity. I want a multicultural sheep, yea? Ya hear me
brother? I don't care if isn't black, white Jewish or what yea.
Multicultural, you know, it's all gravy.
Okay&;#8230; baa, baa multicultural sheep have you any wool. Yes
sir, yes sir three-
Excuse me, but you just said "yes sir, yes sir" thus referring to a
man. If you don't mind me saying, I think you'll find that sexism is
way past it's sell by date.
So?
How about yes sir, yes madam - please delete as appropriate.
But, that doesn't really rhyme.
Oh so rhyme is more important that sexism?
No I suppose not. Fine. Baa, baa multicultural sheep, have you any
wool? Yes sir, yes madam - please delete as appropriate - 3 bags full
-
Yes excuse me, but 'bags' is not a proper quantitative value you shall
have to replace it with kilograms. I'm afraid if you don't you'll be
off to court, I'll have no dodgy dealings round here.
Kilograms it is. Baa, baa multicultural sheep, have you any wool? Yes
sir, yes madam - please delete as appropriate - 3 kil-o-grams. One for
the master, one for the dame and -
Oi!
What do you want?
Equal rights!! Why does the master and dame bag two thirds of it? What
about the workers hey? What about the slaves - they should get paid for
their work! Fair trade you know, like in those South American banana
plantations. Our economy survives not on the masters but on the
everyday workers out in the fields all day you know?
Jesus Chirst! FINE! I'll change it then. Baa, baa multicultural sheep,
have you any wool? Yes sir, yes madam - please delete as appropriate -
3 kil-o-grams. A portion for the masters, fair trade for the slaves and
some for the little boy who -
Are you suggesting dwarfism? It's not fair to make a mockery of -
SHUT UP! God damn it! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I have had it with political
correctness! It's a children's rhyme for heaven's sake!!! It's
not:
Blah, blah multicultural sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes madam -
please delete as appropriate - 3 kil-o-grams. A portion for the
masters, fair trade for the slaves and some for the average-sized child
who lives down the bloody lane!
ARGGGGGHH!!
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