They run through my hair, nails lightly sliding across my scalp, sending a sudden shiver down my back. Its been nearly a decade sense those hands danced across my head but the feelings of comfort and love and a wonder only known by a younger version of myself all come rushing back in an instant.
I should start with a bit of background. A late lunch walk around the mall was the agreed upon plan. We both knew the history and the stakes and despite all that we still needed to see each other.
When she tucks her arm into mine and pulls me close i can't help the fact that i love this woman. So, we stroll arm in arm, through the mall and it's just as it was twelve years ago, like no time has passed. It's not weird at all, in fact it feels strangely normal. It's almost too good.
As we walk in and out of stores my hands begin taking liberty's and ignoring what i know to be wrong. How can an act so heinous in nature make two people so overjoyed and at the same time so guilty. The sweetest things are truly free and yet there is always a price to be paid.
To contemplate the "what if's" in life is a dangerous and slippery slope and in my own experience it involves whiskey, wax and bad decisions. I wouldn't call it depression but I'm sure someone else would. All i want is everything i ever wanted, that's not to much to ask is it? I'd run for hills if i had any sense at all, thank God i don't.
So, i keep walking along, pushing down the bad and burying it under anything i can. When I'm with her the bad just disappears and all i can do is enjoy the moment.
As our hour nears a close i grab her hand and make her sit on a bench. I sit down next to her and lay my head in her lap, completely ignoring any and all passers by.
There is nothing better then knowing she loves you. She begins to run her hands through my hair just like she use to all those years ago. Her breathing is heavy, i reach up and wrap my arms around her waist and tell her to relax. She leans over me and kisses me on the forehead but never pulls away, her fingers continuously running though my hair.