A Thorough Gentleman

A Thorough Gentleman ?

Albert Timmins always dressed immaculately from the top of his grey
Derby to the tip of his highly polished shoes. Smartness and tidiness
were second nature to Timmins. His penchant for neatness was as a
result of his military training. He had retired from the Welshire
Cavalry Regiment after twenty-five years service.
His without doubt had been an exemplary career. Albert's demobilisation
had been at the end of the Second World War at the age of forty-five,
some ten years before our narrative date. Even though Albert achieved
such wonderful military testimonials, none of his honours had been
gained in a theatre of war. Most all of his service had been spent in
messes in and around Whitehall. Since the officers that he served had
all been senior red-flashed headquarters' staff.
The job that Albert now held was that of butler to General Sir Jasper
Faversham, he had taken up the post of valet when the General resigned
his commission. Sir Jasper had departed the regiment to go into
politics in peacetime Britain, taking Timmins his batman with him as
his valet. When the General's fortunes changed, with him becoming a
Cabinet Minister, Faversham bought Hampton Hall, a large Georgian
manor. Due to the resultant increase in staff, the diligent valet was
duly promoted to butler in charge of Sir Jasper's household.
Although Timmins wages were not high he enjoyed the fringe benefits
that his position afforded and managed very well. His fondness for the
finer things in life was paramount, but not excessive. The first
weekend in every month was his to spend as he wished. On those few days
off, sparing no expense, he travelled first class by train, from
Hampton Hall in Hampshire to London's Waterloo main line station, then
by tube to Kings Cross Station. Being a person of habit each of these
trips was to visit his only relative, a married sister who lived in
Peterborough.
On boarding the only empty first class, smoker compartment at Kings
Cross, on that first Friday in September 1955 Timmins looked aghast.
The reason for his expression of horror was that although the rest of
the small compartment was neat and tidy, the ashtrays were jammed pack
full with chewing gum and paper. "Probably American GIs, aided by
remiss cleaners," Albert grumbled under his breath as he laid out a
white kerchief, on which he sat.
Settling himself down into his corner seat, facing the engine he
removed a large King Edward from his cigar-case. He preferred a large
cigar and knew from experience that the cigar would last him with a
good ash filter until he reached Peterborough. Being a smoker of the
old school he moistened the length of full leaf tobacco with his
tongue, warmed it with a match, and lit up then returned the spent
match to its box.
Just as the train was about to leave the capital's northern station an
attractively dressed lady who had came down the length of the train
stepped into Albert's compartment. Molly Jones settled herself opposite
the smartly dressed man, who had half rose and nodded, acknowledging
her entry into the cabin. Timmins wrongly assumed that the lady was
upper class from her deportment and attire. She took it for granted
that the well-dressed gentleman was at the very least a wealthy
businessman.
Molly had changed her career some five years earlier from that of a
streetwalker. Perhaps street was a wrong designation since she had
picked up her clients at the various London main line stations.
Whatever the description, she had switched to the more lucrative and
less arduous vocation as a con-woman. She found that first class rail
carriages provided her with a good source of, in the main, willing
victims.
After a while Molly's opening gambit to Albert her potential prey, who
was now reading the Guardian, was "excuse me sir would you mind
extinguishing your cigar I have a delicate chest?" Albert didn't reply
to her request, but pointed to the window pointing out that it did not
display any no-smoking sign.
Steeling herself again after several more minutes she tried to strike
up a conversation with her so far unreceptive quarry. "Sir you are
blowing smoke and ash all over the place." "I can assure you madam I am
not. With respect why don't you move to a none smoker's section?"
Albert returned to the perusal of his paper, after some time had
elapsed the lady deciding that a more direct approach may be more apt,
addressed him once more. "Give me fifty pounds and I'll make it worth
your while." He ignored her completely and went on smoking and
reading.
About four miles from his destination the irate woman stood up, mussed
up her clothes then pulled the communication cord. Staring hard faced
at the man she spat out "one hundred quid or I'll shout rape."
The train that had not been travelling fast came to a sudden but
otherwise smooth stop. There was complete silence for several seconds
followed by a series of loud screams from the first class carriage
window. These in turn were succeeded by a hubbub as people all over the
train began trying to find out why the stop and others what the screams
meant? The guard at once went to investigate the stoppage accompanied
by a railway policeman who as luck would have it was travelling home
from duty in London, where he worked. In due time the two railway
officials reached Albert's compartment. Looking at the police officer
the guard pointed to the sagging thin cord. It's this one!" "I see
that," replied the constable.
Investigating with his eyes, first the cubicle then each of its
occupants, the officer asked why and by whom the cord had been pulled.
Molly, who was expecting an agreeing, nod from her victim, but finding
none, began to blubber. "This! This creature has assaulted me, look he
almost ripped off my clothes," she pointed to her dishevelled attire,
sobbing incessantly.
To Molly Jones's utter surprise the constable took her roughly by the
arm and said "it's a serious offence stopping a train without reason.
Added to that this gentleman would have just cause in suing you for
slander. We shall certainly prosecute you for putting a train at risk
and causing a disturbance."
When Mr. Timmins shook his head indicating that he would not sue Jones,
the constable led her off to finish her journey in the goods-van. The
puzzled guard asked
Albert "how the devil did he know you hadn't assaulted the
woman?"
The Thorough Gentleman did not answer the guard but held up the
remnants of his large cigar with its three and a half inch ash filter,
before opening the carriage window and disposing of both the cigar and
its' still intact ash.

By Don Passmore ?