BITCH Plaque

Thank you, thank you!
Thank you for the applause!
Really?. that's enough!
You're too much!
This is really a surprise!
I'm honored?.really!
You guys!

I'm honored to receive this award tonight! I have a number of people
who were instrumental in my development as a "BITCH." I'll be
quick.

To my mom for passing down to me a hot temper and rapier tongue. Hi
mom! Thanks dad for teaching me how to keep a calm front and then erupt
unpredictably. Yes, I won't forget that breaking objects is better than
breaking people. My older brother and sister provided years of training
in revenge and tattle-taling. They couldn't be here tonight. I hope
you're watching. I can't forget my husband for providing years of
arguments. I really honed my skills combating his corporately trained
viciousness and precision targeting. My sister-in-law was especially
astute with butting in, ridicule and last but not least, jealously. My
kids are big helpers too.

Co-workers were key to my development. The cat packs and back stabbers
really provided me with incentive to succeed. Let's not forget Mrs. BTK
for lessons in potion making, set-ups and long range planning. Her
superiority strut would inspire the Mummers! Big boss witch?well what
can I say? More than once did she entice me to meet her in a dark
alley. Too bad I never acted on it; her secretary would have joined
me!

After this crew?mere customers are nothing.

I'll treasure this award and hang it prominently in my living
room.
Thanks again for this honor and good night.

(Applause, applause.)