The PC - if that existed!
By Dreamerslover
- 500 reads
To whom it may concern (or to whom it may not)
Reliable, hmm I could fake that! Highly motivated - easy peasy! Interested in accounting, environmental issues, world peace and quantum physics - why of course I am! Since I was a baby even.
To be honest with you even before I was born I could speak 3 languages and photosynthesis whenever needed. See, I am the perfect candidate - sense of humor, ambitious, career minded.
My eyes are running through the requirements for ANY and EVERY THING which involves human interaction. Preparing standard replies to standard questions, with outstanding eye contact, confidence and charm of course. Blah. If only someone could buy it.
Why did you choose exactly our firm? Asks with a touch of a smile in the eyes an elderly lady with a melodic voice.Here comes the time to bring up historical facts about the firm, prestigious award; summary of its philosophy which you deeply admire and thrive to live up to its standards. Hmm I do not need the job/internship for the money. Nowadays you could grow it in the garden, it's all because of the extreme fun and satisfaction such a job could give you.
Shaking, sweat, tears - who needs that when getting a job is so much simpler than that. Act like a man, woman! Fake it. How difficult could it be? Are you a people's person? BUT not a people pleaser (kiss ass). Sociable that is. Well if facebook counts you could be a machine! Soooo sociable, smashing. Hard working - I could lift 100 kg with my toes. Every single day I walk those kilograms down the road and then back home.
Could you work as part of a fast developing, energetic team of enthusiastic, educated and very (posh) important people? Yes, I guess.
Now turning to page 2389283 of the application. Race: number 1. Sexual orientation: disoriented. Religion: believe in the Greek Gods - highly religious.
End - the application for a cleaner is done!
Thank you.
Yours sincerely:
The Perfect Candidate
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