Searching for Gibberish

Exploring the Lost Language of Gibberish
Gibberish has been used in one form or another since the dawn of man.
However, the language has been lost to us over the years due to the
prevailing trend of established culture.

The language was wiped out by English, Chinese, French, and other forms
of higher human communication. Yet, the languages that displaced
Gibberish are still built around the basic fundamentals of Gibberish as
a whole. English uses Gibberish today in many forums including
political speeches, rock songs, and Biblical text.

The Bible, itself, constitutes the first form of repetitive Gibberish
in the chapters of Genesis which grind the word "begat" into a litany
that could have saved a lot of time by mentioning the first father and
the concluding son that moves the epic adventure along.

Another Gibberish great is "Stairway to Heaven" in which we are asked
if there is a "Bustle in your Hedgerow."
My journeys were to go deeper than the Bible and pop culture and to
find Gibberish and speakers of Gibberish in the real world of today. My
trip started at a local 7-11 where I began the following conversation
with a stoned employee.

ME: Would you happen to errant a small pocket of small cheese for the
tomato episode?

Employee: Could you wagglebout a bit of the forum runner?

ME: Yes, of course, there are monkeys in the trees above South
Hoofadour and none have eyes the color of small locks or
sausages.

Employee: Far out! I gilt a bit of the splendor on that one, nobbin's
great!

ME: Nobbins good. Say, you have a bear in the woods with the cr?me de
menthe of a strong Cocoaloptumus.

Employee: Pow!

ME: Pow!

During the conversation I noticed that the employee was not only aware
of the language, but was also fluent. During my visit to the restroom
facilities at the establishment I noticed that there was also a written
form of Gibberish.

Within seconds, I had my pen and paper out to write down the following
excerpts of Gibberish-Americana:

Plenty to see on your way to hotdoggin'

Have you read my pants lately?

Jen Shoman has a great set of focal designers

For a bear claw call your local and I didn't mean that

As a result of the previous text I have been able to establish a
dictionary of words, or rather phrases that can be used in conjunction
with other phrases to form a sort of ad hoc language.

In 2000, George Shultz, my associate, was able to transcribe the
earlier texts found in such areas as Palestine and Israel into a
manifest of Gibberish entitled "The Bells of the Bottom of Ham
Sandwiches Makes me Ring."

His book read like so much small apples taped to the bumper of a
dolphin and I am grateful for his accomplishments as they have
furthered my current work.

Gibberish may be dead, but it is our duty to keep the language alive in
our hearts and minds.

Maybe one day we will have the scholars, such as myself, teaching it in
colleges around the world. And to that end I say in perfect Gibberish:
The mighty may have fallen upon the goats of yesteryear, yet I will
transpress all those who forgot to beat a frog into total and obvious
submission along the way.

Thank you.