Microplastics (2/3)

 

The back of the Wilted Angel was popular because of its many framed photos of

naked women (its proximity to the bathroom also helped). The photos were either barely censored by the models’ poses or with seashells glued over their nipples and holes. Bri and Caro were sitting right in front of a model wearing jeans and nothing else. June and July joined them, June’s chair facing the bathroom door. 

    “What is up, y’all?” Bri yelled. She walked around the table and hugged both of them. She had on what must have been a new pink blazer over a plain white shirt. Her hair was done up into a nice-looking bun. Caro eyed them over her phone and through her hair. It was like a set of black drapes covering the sides of her face. She wore an old black hoodie with a spider web pattern. 

    “How was the drive?” Caro asked.

    “Slow,” June replied.

    July cracked a smile. “Carter had us listening to Lady Gaga in his car.”

    Bri and Caro looked up. “Really?” Bri asked.

    They all looked at June, waiting for her to join in. “I’m gonna grab a drink.” She immediately pulled away from the table and stood.

    “You know what, I’ll join you,” July said.

    June found herself staring into space while they waited for the bartender’s too sought after attention. She squeezed one hand with the other, almost wishing she could hear a crack. The bartender eventually acknowledged them, and moments later he was in front of them, tipping his hat in what should have been a charming gesture. The man was very skinny, and doll-like in his movements. If he wasn’t using an arm, it hung like all of the life had been drained from it. He had a clean beard that was unfortunately paired with a mouse-like face.

    He made a predictable remark about how much stronger June and July looked than him. And an equally predictable joke about how he wouldn’t mind getting one of his limbs broken if they were the ones breaking it. June pushed through the fodder and pointed out the drink she wanted.

    “Cosmopolitan,” she said.

    He reacted with an extra-flirty smirk and nodded towards July. She ordered her favorite—a French 75—and the two of them sat back while the bartender did his thing. He didn’t make a big show of pouring the drinks; he turned and mixed them with an elegance June almost found surprising.

    With their drinks in hand, June and July returned to the table. Caro was leaning over to look at Bri’s screen. She turned her phone around to show off a picture of June and Carter sitting in their living room. “Is this what Carter looks like now?” she asked. June froze in place. In the photo, June was wearing a tank top as usual, and both her and Carter’s legs were under a thin blanket. Carter was wearing a pink, floral t-shirt, and the one arm visible in the photo was covered with jewelry. His ponytail leaned over the back of the couch.

    June took a sip of her drink. “Yeah, that’s him.”

    “Oh my God,” Caro said. “It’s like you’re the boyfriend.”

    June forced a smile. “It feels that way sometimes.”

    “Does he ever ask you to open the pickle jar?” Bri asked.

    “Or change a tire?”

    “Do you pick him up whenever you kiss him?”

    June took another sip. “Yes, no, and no.” The girls laughed. Even June cracked a real smile. “I caught him struggling to lift my weights once.”

    “Does he go to the gym?” Bri asked.

    June and July shook their heads. “Says there’s too many people there,” June remarked. He might have had a point, but she wondered if he was just afraid of being embarrassed. Carter had no shame about most things, but a lot of guys were extra sensitive at the gym. She’d seen men who looked like they just lost a family member after one unfortunate benching attempt. It was only worse the more people saw your failure. June wasn’t the type to laugh, but there was something very sad about a man who couldn’t pull his own weight at the gym.

    “My boyfriend’s not about working out either,” Bri said. “At least Carter kinda owns that scrawny look.”

    June scoffed. “He owns it by being in drag. I don’t know if he deserves props for that.”

    Bri smiled. “He’s just expressing himself.” She tried to take a sip, but was too busy laughing.

    “Is that what we’re calling it now?” June asked. “I just…” She trailed off.

    July nudged her. “June, if you wanna say something, just say it.” Bri and Caro urged her on, too. All in the spirit of gossip, and a bit of catharsis.

    “He used to feel different, you know?” June wasn’t sure how much she wanted to get into this, so she hung on the end of that thought. “So much bigger than me. He felt like a…like a man. Like someone I used to dream about falling in love with. Now, it’s like I wake up in the morning thinking some blonde girl snuck into bed with me. I see a girl prancing around in cute little frilly clothes and decorating cakes in our kitchen.” She swirled her drink in her glass, happy to finally have the right words. “It’s just everything—the way he dresses, the fact I’ve met women who are salon buddies with him? And he takes so long getting himself together before leaving the house.” She shifted the glass even more aggressively, threatening to spill her drink on the table’s fine wood. “He’s just…not the same person anymore.”

    The atmosphere of the table became that of a funeral, or at least the aftermath of some tragic news. July encouraged her to take another sip as Bri came around for a backwards hug. Caro threaded her fingers together, her eyes looking past June for a short while. “I mean, do you think he might be—”

    June blocked her question with a hand. “I asked him,” she said. “He said something like ‘being jacked doesn’t make you a lesbian.’”

    “That’s not really the same, is it?” Bri said, returning to her chair. 

    “No, it really isn’t. But he’s denied it every time.”

    The girls exchanged skeptical looks. Bri leaned forward. “Do you think, maybe he’s just lying?” June was about to cut her off, but Bri put up an arm. “Come on, June, seriously. I’m not even saying he’s only lying to you. Maybe he’s just not being honest with himself. Maybe he’s inching his way forward, you know? Dipping his toes in the rainbow pool to see if he’s okay with coming out.”

    July set her drink on the table. “I’ll say it once again. Francis was very similar before we split things off. And guess who I saw him locking arms with the other day?”

    As irritating as they were, June couldn’t deny that she still had those thoughts. She had them almost every time she looked at Carter. But he was still physically attracted to her. You couldn’t just pretend your way to an erection that easily, right? Well, maybe you could.

    “I don’t think he’s gay,” June said, rubbing her eyes. “He’s just a man who lives in Edith.” She glanced at some of the men sitting in the bar. Something that June had gradually noticed living in Edith was that men here…were kind of the worst. They weren’t all assholes—no, a lot of them were sweet, and tiny, and passive. Too sweet and tiny and passive. She had noticed this in the gym as well. In fact, it was more noticeable there. Men would walk around in their tank tops—or, God forbid, shirtless—either one step above skeletons or leaving cracks in the ground they stood on. It was like every guy had never been to the gym before. No one was strong, no one was agile, no one was balanced. It was a cruel joke that after years of religiously training her body, she was more of a man than anyone here who was actually born with the title. So was July—Bri and Caro probably were, too.

    This topic ended up taking over the conversation, something June was actually okay with. She had wanted to vent to someone about this for a while, and could think of no better time than now: sitting with her girlfriends and drinking her reservations away for the night.

    “It’s definitely not just you, June,” Caro said. She tossed her phone into the center of the table, revealing the headline of a news article. “It’s been biologically proven. Men have lower sperm counts now.”

    They all leaned in as she scrolled down to a graph. “Explains a lot about the boys at the gym,” July said. She tossed her third round down her throat.

    “Does the article explain why?” Bri asked.

    June scoffed. “They have it too easy, that’s why. We’re putting up with the shitty hand we’ve been dealt and they just sit and reap what we’ve been sowing for years.”

    “PREACH!” The girls barked out their agreement. They were loud enough to catch looks from nearby tables, but they didn’t care.

    “But June,” Bri said. “Don’t you know they’re trying to be more in touch with their feelings?” The table erupted with laughter. 

    “Aww, their delicate widdle feelings,” June said. Her cheeks felt like they were vibrating. “Like I give a shit. Learn how to do what you’re supposed to do and maybe I’ll start caring.”

    “Anyone want more drinks?” Caro asked. They raised their glasses in triumph and handed them all to Caro, who struggled to keep a grip on them. She stumbled out of her chair and towards the bartender.

    “God,” July said. “You know, my last boyfriend used to talk to me about his,” she suddenly broke into laughter. “His therapist. Ughh—imagine laying in bed after the most 5 out of 10 sex of your life, haven’t cracked a real smile all night, and he wants to start with his ‘oh, I’m sooo happy I met you, July.” She let out some exaggerated moans. “Ughh, I feel so secure with you July, you’re the first woman I’ve felt safe with since,” she paused for effect. “Well, you know.” She tucked her hair back in jest.

    June’s stomach was actually starting to hurt from laughing too much. Her newly filled glass appeared in front of her, and Caro dropped the rest of the girls’ drinks on the table. “I’ve heard that sort of thing from Carter too,” she said.

    “I’m sure you have,” July said, eyes wide. “It’s an epidemic.”

    “Like, this one time, in the middle of the night,” she groaned. Somehow, her annoyance at the memory overtook her amusement. “Carter gets up to use the bathroom, and when he comes back, he starts looking out the window like he’s in a movie or something. Sitting at the edge of the bed, and I’m laying down, looking at him.” She took a sip of her drink. “That day was the first time I’d asked him about why he started dressing so differently and styling his hair. He looked at me and said,” she cleared her throat. “I used to dress like that when I was a kid, but guys kept putting sex toys in my lockers.” The table erupted. Bri nearly choked on her drink and July had to give her a few hard pats on the back. “One time, I asked a girl out and she said she wouldn’t kiss me until I told her how many dicks had been in my mouth.” Even June couldn’t resist laughing anymore. “He was so serious too, I th—I think he started tearing up.”

    July coughed. “No! Not tears!”

    “I bet he wanted you to hold him in your arms.”

    “You should have told him a bedtime story to calm him down.”

    “Guys,” June coughed. “My stomach hurts! My stomach hurts!” She bent over.

    “Oh, she's going down!” July yelled. All at once, she felt everyone patting her back. “You good?”

    “Am I good?” June asked. “Won’t you think of poor Carter? He’s traumatized!”

    “Yeah, she’s fine,” Bri said.

    “So, did he say anything else?” Caro asked.

    “He, um,” June took a breath and straightened her back. “He said ‘I love watching you get stronger every day. You know what you want to look like and you don’t let anyone stop you.’” She had told him before that conversation about a few assholes at the gym who complained about her “not looking like a real woman.”

“So you’re the reason he’s like that now?” July asked.

“Yeah,” June took a long sip. “I guess I put the idea in his head.”

“God,” Bri scoffed. “It’s like you’re being punished for expressing yourself.”

“Hey, it’s not all bad. He’s…got good taste in skincare products.” They all chuckled. “No seriously, the last set of face cream he bought me wasn’t bad.”

“I don’t know, June. Have you thought about,” Bri waved her arms suggestively, “Considering your options?”

“You don’t have to dance around it,” June said. “And yeah, sometimes. That also means breaking up with his money, though.” Carter loved to spoil her. In fact, her gym membership was currently coming out of his pocket, as a birthday gift. She’d probably have to move out of Edith if things went south between them, which would mean being separated from her friends, all of her favorite spots, and an easy commute to work.

“Sounds like you’re stuck with him, then,” July said.

June shook her head. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it, guys.” She searched for her drink and found it was already empty. When did that happen? “I’m embarrassed to be seen in public with him. I’m embarrassed to be with him in private.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Bri asked.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I just wish I could see him as the man I used to know. I’ve, uh—” Her drink was pulled from her hand. Caro was looking down at her.

“One more?”

“How many is that now?” She was starting to hang on some of her words.

“Not enough, clearly. One more should get you in better spirits.” Caro was off before June could even consent. 

“What were you saying, June?” Bri asked.

“I’ve been setting up these tests…for Carter. Like, one time, I broke one of the hinges on the bathroom door, so it wouldn’t close. I showed it to Carter to see how he’d handle it. And I even brought our toolbox upstairs for him.”

“So?” July leaned in closer.

June smiled. “He called two of his friends over to help him, and they still had to call their parents the whole time.” She got looks of both amusement and disappointment.

“So embarrassing,” July said. “What would happen if something actually went wrong?”

“He’d just pay someone to fix it, I’m sure. Why learn when you’re already living a life of luxury?” Caro dropped her glass back on the table and June instantly took a sip. “Okay, test number two. I snuck outside late at night and banged on some of the windows. Then I went back in and told Carter that someone was trying to force their way inside. I really tried to look as terrified as I could. He stands there like a deer in headlights for a second.”

    “Uh oh.”

    “What did he end up doing?” Bri asked.

    “He just stalked all of the windows for the rest of the night,” June said. “I watched him.” He knelt by almost every window in the house, armed with nothing but a flashlight. He kept up the act well after June went up to their room to shower.

“That’s all he did?”

“He said he wanted to be sure,” June sighed. “If it were up to me, I would have at least grabbed our rifle to threaten them. But Carter’s always going on about how he doesn’t want to use it ‘unless he absolutely has to.’”

Caro laughed. “What’s test three gonna be? Give you an orgasm?”

“Caro, come on,” Bri said. “It can’t be something impossible.”

“That might be an option,” June said. Hard to have one of those when you can’t get aroused at all. “I don’t know what it’ll be.” She paused, thinking. “I’ve been hearing about these robberies happening near our street.”

“Oh yeah,” July said. “Has Carter said anything about that?”

June shrugged. “He just said ‘they wouldn’t get past him.’”

July spit out some of her drink. She and Bri frantically wiped it off the table. “That might be the funniest thing he’s ever said.”

June didn’t find it quite as humorous. “Doesn’t make me feel too secure, I’ve gotta say. And we’re on the darkest part of the street too.”

Her statement hung in the air for a moment.