The Pain You've Caused.

The pain you've caused

When you look at me like that,
The hatred breaks my heart.
You never cared about my feelings,
Just carried on regardless.
What did I ever do to you?
Why is it you hate me so much?
What have I done wrong?
I don't recall insulting you:
I treated you with respect.
All I ever tried to do,
Was what I thought was best.
You didn't give up though did you?
Cruel words and evil glares:
Were all I could ever expect.
Do you realise what you've done to me?
Treated me like crap.
Now tell me truthfully,
Did I deserve that?
You never seemed to know,
If you did you didn't care.
You never seemed aware,
That I loved you.
You just passed me by.
I never let you hear my cry,
Or see the tears that filled my eyes
My heart fed up of all the lies.
Sitting at home,
I'm all-alone.
Writhing inside from the pain you've caused.
You couldn't care less,
You knew your cruel words hurt me.
You didn't give a shit,
That my heart, my soul, my pride,
My love had been scarred forever.
The suicidal feeling you put me through,
Day and night.
The slashed legs and arms,
It's all down to you.
As you didn't love me too.
I knew all along you never would,
I knew inside you never could:
Not me.
I hoped and dreamed,
Wished and screamed for mercy,
From this pain that's taken over.
You hated me so much,
To you I was simply a bitch,
Your love only spread as far as her . . .
. . . Everyone else to you was dirt.
I knew you'd never look at me twice,
With kind and loving eyes.
Instead I'm the one you avoid, despise.
I listened to the insults flooding on,
Couldn't ignore them,
Heard every single one.
Now you seem to ignore me,
I don't even hear a whisper.
I'm not sure which pains me more:
The unkind words,
Or being ignored.
You hurt my friends,
You broke my heart.
You made me cry,
I could've died.
Surrounded by darkness,
My life fades away.
Sadness and pain,
Heartache and rejection,
Humiliation and loneliness,
Sums up my life.
Everyday seems dark and dismal,
Rainey days are common,
There's no green grass on this side of the fence or the other.
No blue sky remains.
Every day is like another walk in the rain,
Attempting to block out all the pain.
As it eats away at my heart:
I'm getting weaker day by day
Simply wishing my life away.
I sit alone in my room,
Trying to banish all the gloom.
My heads a mess;
All confused,
Full of darkness.
Bashed and bruised.
You've made me feel unwanted, unloved.
Is it not enough to break my heart?
Obviously that was just the start
And the worst is yet to come.
Look at what you've done to me,
I'm getting beyond help,
All that can pull me through is you.
I'm standing alone in this bleak, old world,
With no one to show me the way.
Despite all this I've worked out,
That my love will never fade away.
Even through my dying days;
My love for you will still remain.