Nature - Summer Term
By Ray Schaufeld
Sun, 15 Jun 2014
- 3730 reads
12 comments
Sundrenched particoloured moggies
Bask patchwork squared
Back of the Uni kitchens.
Dreadlocks Jo who never quite left
And Biker Bill
Pitch up between trees.
Hearing finches twitter, they
Boil and roast roots on redsky embers,
Skinnydip the star-twink loch.
Burly tattooed old Bill
Slips near invisible
Inside a permaculture lecture.
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Comments
Quite brilliant. Fresh and
Quite brilliant. Fresh and modern with lively imagery and imaginative use of language.
Not sure about the punctuation in the second verse.
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Scorpio might have a point re
Scorpio might have a point re' the second stanza.
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Allow me to be the second
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Allow me to be the second person calling a poem of yours 'brilliant', elsie. Fantastic use of vocabulary...fresh, and vibrant
Tina
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Clarification 8-)
Sorry elsie I ought to have complimented this excellent poem too. I love it.
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This is great Elsie. The
This is great Elsie. The onomotopia is absolutely delicious.
Jean
Jean Day
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Elsie,
Elsie,
The comments get better because you deserve them. Enjoyed this.
Moya
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I just keep thinking - GROOVY
I just keep thinking - GROOVY :-) Thanks Elsie
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