It's a Sale 25\% Off

Sale 25\% Off

What is a sale? I ask myself as I watch the saleswoman touch her
husband's mustache as he speaks into his cellphone. The sign says, 25\%
Off All Slacks. Not a particularly enticing advertisement, I think.
These slacks are too tight in the crotch, I think. Just as everything
is always too tight in the crotch, I smile to myself. She is still
flicking her fingers on his mustache. What is on his mustache and why
isn't she helping me with this sales item? I ask myself. The saleswoman
comes over and says, My husband has some sort of sticky juice on his
mustache. It's almost completely dry, she says. Enough to be gooey and
hard to pick off. I think I am watching her closely. She says, He has
such bad manners. Like a sloppy, dirty man. Unlike you, she says
smiling. Too familiar, I think. Unlike you, she repeats, you in those
smashing slacks. The word smashing wears me down. It's not an abrupt
destruction, but a miniscule contribution to a slow death. I don't say
anything but turn away from her and smile widely into the full-length
mirror. I immediately notice how bushy and dark my eyebrows are. The
saleswoman peers over my shoulder for a few moments and then begins to
hike my slacks up. I notice she is panting. You can't save, if you
don't spend, she says wisely between breaths. These ones are 25 \% off
today.