A Load of Balls, Darling

O Lor, another sporting metaphor,
(I wonder if he knows the shape of the ball?)
O my! Has he stopped to wonder why
his rubbish team has lost the will to live?
(Well just look at the Captain, glowering fit to bust)
Don't they know that all the playing fields
are Tory - breeding grounds for future glory?
(play up, play up and play the tired
old game of self-interest by another name.)

O dear, it's my mistake I fear,
I've missed the passing of the last socialist.