Metrosexual Manbag Blues

I’ve got a PhD in skincare
and great platonic friends:
I’d rather talk than text them,
with the latest fashion trends.

My address is close to Hampstead
My job is – like – PR
I used to have a Lexus,
now I drive an eco-car.

My favourite books are chick-lit
and the films I watch are French,
I never watch the football
and cannot use a wrench.

But - come on - could you tell me?
I’d really like to know…
Why the girls I ask to kiss me,
invariably say no?