Alan the double-ard vark

alan woz an aardvark
and double-ard at that
by 14 he 'ad robbed his muver
and murdered the cat
he grew up becomin' a criminal
in the animal kingdom
and his murdering trademark
woz to chop off their ding-dong
he went to prison
for 1 year
but he escaped
with his partner derek the deer
no one has seen or heard alan since
many think he's changed
but i still think he's plottin' sumthin'
coz he's still derarranged.