Kid Myself

I had always believed that finding love would not be too difficult,
but alas, it would not come to me open-handed. I had those moments of
passion with a man in which I felt special at the time, however the
morning after, walking away from his apartment with me head hung low.
For some reason, it took me a long time to realize this was definitely
not the means of finding happiness.

Temporarily I was contented by this means of finding "love". I can't
say that I knew this was totally abnormal because for me it was my way
with dealing with my sexuality. I guess for one split moment I believed
I had to try new things with new people every week would allow
self-realization. It makes total sense now, but then I was just being a
stereotype of what a gay man should do.

Things have changed since then. I had found love. It is new, exciting,
and such a relief from where I stood before. I was kidding myself back
then thinking that in order to find love I had to put my fingers into
several different pies...sometimes all in one night! Now I realized
something so simple and astonishing....love will find its way to
you.

It is a very important message, maybe it is my new ode to love. Love is
something that cannot be reached if it does not want to dbe grasped.
One can't make another love him. It is a phenomena which correlates
with fate. Fate just happens, it is impossible to predict! It chooses
two people, no matter what sexual preference, and molds them into one
like ingredients combining to make a desert. Sweet and succulent, love
makes two souls into one.

I have discovered this recipe to happiness. I met him through Fate and
nothing can change my mind on that. I was kidding myself before with
thoughts of finding love through sex, however being young is my only
deffense to making such decisions. Now it is possible to find love? No,
love will reveal itself at the perfect time.