Chat Up Lines For The Surrealist

We've all heard them:

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"

"Do you like flowers? Well get your tulips round this then"

Blah blah blah blah blah. What a load of shit. What we men really need
are chat up lines for the millenium. Considering robots should be
wiping our arse by now, if 80's TV shows are anything to go by, then we
need to update ourselves in some way, and why not start with our Chat
up lines?
I, myself, and me have thought of some rather intelligent and thought
provoking chat lines to make that woman that you've fancied for years,
yours at last (Although I only have 2 at the minute, so use them wisely
my friend):

Okay, number 1, practice this in a mirror, as you most likely do
anyway:

Stroll of to the lady with a suave walk (Woman don't like the manly
walk, so walk with a bit of girl in your step, kinda like Peter
Stringfellow) and stand next to her. Next starting sniffing the air
around her, she'll think that because you're a man, and you're
worthless, that you're about to say "Have you just farted?" but instead
you'll surprise her with the opening line of your chat up line:

"You smell of honey"

She'll seem confused at first, but then you come in with the final part
of your chat up line (Maybe with a little wink and a lick of the
lips):

"I like honey"

She'll be jelly in your hands mate, I tells you now. You may have to be
drunk to try that one with a straight face, so you could try this next
chat up line:

Walk over to the woman, with an air of sagacity (Maybe wear a badge
saying "I'm honest I am") and sit down next to her. Immediately ask her
this question:

"How do you like your beef?"

If she's any woman at all, she should reply: "raw"

When she does, immediately reply back to her: "Rooooaaarrrrr". She'll
be putty in your hands mate, I tells you.

If you do try out my new century chat up lines, or you have any ideas
of your own, feel free to mail them to me. As I'm sure you'll agree,
they are quite, quite spectacular.