Six years today.
On the one hand, unthinkable to be so long without you.
On the other, seems like only yesterday,
Yesterday, when a memory made me smile and you felt close,
Like most days really.
A constant support for all of my life,
Even when you disagreed with my choices or, or when on rare occasions, I made you angry.
I was always your first and your last priority,
And alongside much grief we had so much fun,
Life’s an adventure. You taught me that.
It’s wet, very wet, today.
That soft Cornish ‘mizzle’ that doesn’t seem like much,
But saturates to the skin never-the-less.
Unlike the day you died, when the sun came out,
Shining on you, a comfort for me.
With wet feet and straggled hair I sit in the pub,
Eating chowder you’d have loved, drinking wine you’d never have touched.
You rest in the village you loved and lived in alone, with me, with my dad,
It’s his death date tomorrow, 39 years,
Another unbelievable statistic.
You’re both with me still. Now, as ever.
In my judgement and passions,
My determination, my discrimination.
And my heart,
Forever in my heart.