New Friends

NEW FRIENDS?

It wasn't so much the bulging multi-flowered leggings, or the
eye-jarring yellow and purple geometric-patterned jumper over a
too-full figure that had made Janis blink. Rather it was the vinegar
bottle that Myrtle raised to her lips.
Myrtle placed the empty bottle on the table with a sigh of pleasure.
"That's the trouble with these small bottles - they don't last long
enough," she remarked. Taking out a cigarette, she placed it in her
mouth and leaned back in her chair, chewing contentedly.
Janis sipped her coffee, trying not to stare at her companion. Don't
judge someone on the basis of a few minutes, she told herself. Give her
a fair chance. What had the advert said? "Down-to-earth,
thirty-something lady, new to the area, wide cultural interests, seeks
similar for friendship." Culture and friendship were what she
wanted.
"Do you usually drink vinegar?" she ventured.
"Yes, have you ever tried it? I started a few years ago when I read
that too much sweet stuff wasn't good for you. It really does quench
the thirst, you know."
"Er, would you like a light for that cigarette?" asked Janis
hurriedly, watching Myrtle extract another. Not that she condoned
smoking in the slightest.
"What! Light it?" Myrtle looked exceedingly shocked. "Good grief, no!
I NEVER light them - what with cancer and pollution and all that.
Anyway, they are a great help in my diet. Of course, I can see that you
don't need to diet. If I was you, I'd get some weight on - you can have
too little of a good thing you know." Myrtle chortled at her
witticism.
Janis twiddled the coffee cup. With Harold working abroad so much, she
really did need some new friends, but Myrtle...well..?
"You're married, aren't you?" asked Myrtle, putting down the
half-eaten cigarette. "What does your husband do?"
"Oh - he works in the construction industry. It takes him away from
home a lot."
"I was married once, but that was a long time ago. I've got used to my
own company now.
"I suppose you do, after a while, I must admit-"
"Would you like another coffee?" interrupted Myrtle, "with a biscuit
this time?"
"Yes, please," replied Janis, "but don't worry about the biscuit; I've
brought something."
Whilst Myrtle was at the counter, Janis thought furiously. Yes, she
wanted new friends, someone to share her Rachmaninov collection and her
water-colour painting, but a vinegar-swigging, cigarette eating,
garishly dressed extrovert didn't quite fit the bill and really wasn't
in her normal class of acquaintance. Harold would definitely not
approve.
"Here you are," chirped Myrtle, flopping down in her seat, clutching
another vinegar bottle and a sachet of Tabasco.
"Thank you, replied Janis, ever mindful of her manners. She reached
into her handbag.
"Well, what do you think, asked Myrtle wiping her mouth on her sleeve.
"Do you think we could be friends? I hope you do."
"Mmm, I don't know," said Janis slowly, dipping the feathered chicken
leg into her coffee and sucking it daintily?
* * * * * *