Digitalis Happenstance – An Obituary

Digitalis Happenstance was, until the tragic accident that claimed his life almost twenty-seven and a half minutes ago, this country’s leading cattle grid impersonator. It is an irony that will not be lost on his many thousands of fans and admirers around the world that it was his uncanny abilities at cattle grid impersonation that led to the tragic misunderstanding between him and the articulated cattle transporter that took his life at the unbelievably young age of 97.

It must be said that despite the glamour and celebrity attached to it, cattle grid impersonation is not without its risks. Although, it could be argued that in these safety-conscious and risk adverse days it is that very real sense of danger, and the risks of a life lived on the very edge, that gives cattle grid impersonators such a glamour. Happenstance was unusual in this day and age; for the celebrity status of today’s cattle grid impersonators carries with it a sense of actually being deserved rather than merely alighted on by a constantly shifting capricious media spotlight.

Despite the dangers of his chosen way of life, Happenstance was never one to get too portentous about his vocation. He saw it as a way of engaging a seemingly so-often disillusioned younger generation and taking them beyond the patina of celebrity and glamour that initially attracted them to cattle grid impersonation. He believed in showing them some of the deeper meanings inherent in the long, long history of the art form, and always emphasised the commitment, discipline and long hours of practice and training necessary for perfection of the art, rather than the concomitant life of hedonistic celebrity fluff and trivia that came with it.