A Selection of Historical Limericks

Harold Davidson (A Vicar & Lion Tamer)

The rector of Stiffkey liked whores,

They were quite his special cause,

But then he found fame,

When he made lions tame,

Until he ended up inside of their jaws.

 

Thor Heyerdahl (An Explorer & Ethnographer)

Thor Heyderdahl knew what to do,

He went to Polynesia from darkest Peru,

On a raft called Kon-Tiki,

Built not to be leaky,

To prove the ancients could sail there too.

 

Florence Nightingale (A Nurse)

When Flo went to war in Crimea,

She cleaned up the blood and diarrhoea,

She thought it obscene,

The state of hygiene,

And became epidemiology’s true pioneer

 

Henry Johnson (A Soldier)

Henry Johnson, a Harlem Hellfighter, in World War 1,

Was rewarded for the things that he’d done,

He stopped a German advance,

from getting to France,

The Croix De Guerre is the medal he won.

 

Hedy Lamarr (An Actor)

An actress named Hedy Lamarr,

Once was a Hollywood star,

The she came up with a hack

To keep torpedoes on track,

Which led to bluetooth and WiFi - How bizarre!.

 

Corrie ten Boom (A Watchmaker & Writer)

A Dutch woman called Corrie ten Boom,

Had made her own secret room,

To help hide the Jews

From Nazi pursuit,

And saved many lives from their doom.

 

Fanny Cornforth (A Model & Mistress)

Fanny Cornforth was the great muse

That Rossetti decided to choose

With flaming red hair

And a far-away stare

Her portraits have had billions of views

 

Æthelflæd (A Queen)

As an Anglo-Saxon warrior queen

Æthelflæd was really quite keen

To use violent persuasion

Against Viking invasion

And rule over Mercia supreme

 

Siegfried Sassoon (A Poet & Soldier)

The poems of Siegfried Sassoon

Gradually changed their tune,

At first a supporter,

‘Til he saw too much slaughter

And realised peace couldn’t happen too soon

 

Queen Ranavalona I (A Queen)

Queen Ranavalona the first,

As a human was really the worst,

She ruled Madagascar,

With massacre after massacre,

Her subjects thought they were cursed.

 

Clovis I (A King)

Clovis, the first king of France,

Took an incredible chance,

To begin the creation,

Of a new nation,

And enable a Catholic advance.

 

Erik the Red (An Explorer)

 

I don't know what you've heard said

About an explorer called Erik the red    

A trip was planned

to go to Greenland

And make settlement there widespread

 

Imhotep (A Chancellor)

 

About Imhotep little is known,

He was an advisor to the throne

His pyramid design 

was really quite fine,

and into demigod status he's grown

 

Malik Ambar (A Statesman)

 

An Ethiopian slave, Malik Ambar

Was sold to the Peshwa of Ahmadnagar

A talent to administer

Made him Prime Minister

Not bad for a lad from afar

 

Jesse Owens (An Athlete)

 

When Jesse Owens went to Berlin

Hiter didn’t want him to win

But in every race

He came in first place

And proved superiority is not about the colour of skin

 

Sacagawea (An Interpreter and Guide)

 

When Lewis And Clark needed a guide

They picked Charbonneau and his pregnant bride

A woman called Sacagawea

Who led them year after year,

Across the distant and  vast countryside

 

Nona Gaprindashvili (A Chess Grandmaster)

 

When it comes to the game of Chess

Nona Gaprindashvili was one of the best 

Her tough style of game

Brought her to fame

The First female grandmaster, no less!

 

Hannah More (A Writer & Philanthropist)

 

A poet and playwright was Hannah More

She wished to improve the lot of the poor

She thought that slave trading

Was terribly degrading,

Yet women's rights she didn't care for.

 

Hatshepsut (A Pharaoh)

 

As a pharaoh Hatshepsut was never afraid

She built many fine things and improved trade

The patriarchy denied her

But her influence grew wider

And her legacy is ensured not to fade

 

Mary Anning (A Palaeontologist)

 

Mary Anning should have been able to boast

About the fossils she found on the coast

But Victorian males

stifled her tales

And made her feel like a ghost

 

Pat Garrett (A Lawman)

 

Of all the things that Pat Garrett did,

He's best known for shooting Billy the Kid

With a star on chest

He kept law in the West

From which many outlaws he got rid

 

Aphra Behn (A Writer and Spy)

 

Aphra Behn wrote poems and plays

and translations at the end of her days

In Antwerp she spied

For King Charlie’s side

A Feminist trail she blazed!