Check

The film opens with an extreme close-up of paper feeding past the
camera as if coming out of a printer. We are so close that we can only
see one or two letters of what is printed on the paper as it slides
past. The title fades in, superimposed over this continuing scene. This
is the only shot in the film that looks contemporary. The rest of
"Check" is performed and filmed in the style of silent movies from the
first few decades of the twentieth century, with degraded films quality
and over-the-top facial expressions in lieu of nuanced acting. A
musical score will be placed over the top, there will be no dialogue,
and the only diagetic sound is that which is expressly mentioned in the
script.

CAPTION: "TIME OFF FROM WORK?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


OUR HERO walks into frame in the middle distance. He spots
the camera and walks towards it. When he reaches the foreground he nods
vigorously in reply to the question asked of him.

CAPTION: "THINGS TO DO"


CAPTION: "#1 - BUNGEE"

EXT. LOCAL FAIR - DAY


Our hero and another man are at the top of the crane. Their
equipment is checked, they give each other a few words of
encouragement, and our hero makes the first jump. We see him go over
the edge.

EXT. SAME SETTING - MOMENTS LATER


Our hero is lowered to the ground and unhooked after a
succesful jump. As he stands a few people give him congratulations and
pats on the back. He moves across to stand with the rest of the crowd
as, off camera, the second jumper dives. Our hero, watching this, looks
up then down, down, down, down, down...and doesn't go back up. The
crowd immediately surrounding him erupts into screams and shouts of
horror. Our hero pushes his way out through the crew while first-aiders
are being ushered in.

CAPTION: "EXHILARATING?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


Our hero is already in the foreground this time. After a
short moments thought, he nods in agreement.

CAPTION: "#2 - STAND UP FOR SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE
IN"

EXT. HUNT SITE - DAY


Our hero walks on screen in front of a sign advertising a fox
hunt. He turns and gestures off-screen before marching onwards. A
number of other protesters follow after him. They begin harrasing
hunters, waving placards and generally being obstructive. The huntsmen
are equally vehement in their attempts to shoo the protesters
off.

EXT. SAME SETTING - MOMENTS LATER


We see our hero standing amongst a group of protestors facing
the screen, holding their placards with pride. We hear a gunshot, and a
man on our hero's right goes down. More gunshots, and the rest of the
protesters drop down dead until only our hero remains. Upon realising
this, he slowly places his placard down, looks nervously about and
dashes off.

CAPTION: "MEANINGFUL?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


Our hero is clearly weighing up the pros and cons of the
experience before answering this time, but he reaches a 'yes' verdict
after a short while.

CAPTION: "#3 - MAKE SWEET LOVE TO A BEAUTIFUL
LADY"

INT. LINE-UP


Our hero is pacing back and forth in front of a police
line-up style parade of aforementioned beautiful ladies. A banner is
hung above them, proclaiming them to be as much. After what is clearly
careful consideration he chooses his favourite. We see them enter a
door which, when closed behind them, is revealed to have the word
'BEDROOM' on it.

INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER


The two are lying in bed (still fully clothed), with a smug
look of pleasure over both their faces and with their hair slightly out
of place. The lady lights up a post-coital cigarette and our hero's
pleased expression soon changes to consternation as she begins to hack
and cough, before dropping like a stone off the bed. Our hero peeks
over the edge to take a look, then returns to his seated position with
a shell-shocked countenance.

CAPTION: "STIMULATING?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


Our hero now looks far from sure about what to answer. His
eventual nod is more of a question in itself than an
answer.

CAPTION: "#4 - RUN THE MARATHON"

EXT. GREEN FIELDS AND OPEN SPACES - DAY


We see our hero doing his stretching exercises before he
heads out to train, fully kitted out with shorts, sweatbands and even a
number taped to his front. Initially he is overtaken by a slow moving
milk float and collapses in exhaustion. Next he valiantly attempts to
keep up with an under-12's football team, before he finally and
triumphantly overtakes a pensioners jogging group. He celebrates in the
expected "Rocky" fashion while the pensioners overtake him again in the
background.

EXT. MARATHON TRACK - DAY


We see the huge crowds surge off from the start line with our
hero amongst them. However, a large number of people, upon reaching the
finishing line, fall theatrically into the arms of attendants, who
appear panicked and overworked. Doctors rush to some with stethoscopes
and begin listening for a heartbeat. They always end up shaking their
heads. Our hero passes the finish line and leaps for joy, but no-one
comes to congratulate him. Instead, we see ambulances and first aid
workers rushing to and fro amongst the panic.

CAPTION: "FOR CHARITY?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


Our hero is staring into space and doesn't even seem to have
noticed the camera, let alone the question. When he does come around he
nods his head, but his mind is clearly in other places.

CAPTION: "#5 - BECOME A ROCK SUPERSTAR"

INT. BARE STAGE


Our hero walks onto a stage featuring nothing but a stool
with a guitar leaning against. He sits down, picks up the guitar and
hammers out a few awful sounding chords. He stops, repositions himself
and his fingers, and tries again with equally horrendous
results.

INT. SAME SETTING - MOMENTS LATER


Upon returning we find him strumming along in an accomplished
manner to a George Formby-style track, mouthing the words as he goes. A
crowd of screaming teenagers is now watching him in an overexcited
manner.

The music reaches a finale and our hero, still sitting,
receives his rapturous applause. We see a close-up of his joyous face,
and on returning to the medium shot see that the neck of his guitar has
impaled the neck of a person. The applause stops suddenly. Our hero
jumps up from the stool, dropping the guitar in shock and causing the
dead man to slump to the floor.

CAPTION: "CREATIVE?"

EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE - DAY


Our hero is pacing back and forth, side to side, pulling at
his hair in despair. He refrains from answering the question at all
this time around.

CAPTION: "YOU'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY BOY"

EXT. SAME SETTING


Our hero is very close to the camera, shaking his head
vigorously and despairingly.

CAPTION: "YOU MUST BE PUNISHED"

EXT. SAME SETTING


Two policemen enter and bundle our hero off camera as he
struggles futilely. A moment later he comes dashing past us again in
the opposite direction. The policemen follow after a split second and
drag him back across screen and off camera.

INT. COURTROOM


Our hero is in the dock, wringing his hands and sweating
profusely. Everyone in the courtroom is staring straight at him without
saying a word. Suddenly, the jury re-enters, having come to a verdict.
The judge's eyes slowly move from our hero to the foreman of the jury
who stands to deliver his verdict:

CAPTION: "GUILTY, M'LUD"

INT. SAME SETTING


The gaze of the judge once more slowly returns to our hero,
who is looking about himself with disbelief and horror. The judge
stares for an unfeasibly long time, before banging his gavel twice. The
same two policemen who arrested our hero in the previous scene now
attempt to haul him down from the dock. Once more he struggles, and
once more he fails to keep them at bay.

INT. JAIL CORRIDOR


We see our hero staring wistfully out of a window in the door
of his cell. As we slowly zoom out we see that the guard on a chair
next to his cell is slumped backwards, with blood trickling from the
corner of his mouth. The camera turns ninety degrees to face up the
corridor and we see a guard sprawled dead on the floor. We turn back
and begin to pan to the right. In the next cell a hand desperately
grasps at the window before sinking down. Another guard walks past, but
he slips on the gathering pool of blood and falls below camera. There
is a sickening crack.