The Dragon of Nottingham - Peach Pit in the Sand

"Please to be stepping off my paw, your extraordinariness!" said Señor Cody Coyote. "I will be in much need of it when I am wanting to embrace all the beautiful kitty cats in the alley! Except for maybe the old one with the bulging eye that knows not where it wants to look! No! I am not wishing to embrace him too much if you don't mind my saying so too loud!"

Extraordinary Cat took a cautious step off the County cat catcher's paw.

"I have warned you before, Señor Coyote!" said the extraordinary one. "Do evil upon these cats in the alley and you will feel the force of a thousand bricks fall upon your brow!"

"Excuse my pardon, your  extraordinariness! I am not wishing to make the sounds of the one they call a wise-guy, but you do not seem to be, if I am noticing correctly with my much heralded vision, in possession of that many hundreds of bricks!"

"I stand corrected, Señor Coyote! No! I am not in possession of such things! I was simply using a metaphor to imply that my great powers will feel like the force of a thousand bricks crushing you like a tomato! Do you get my drift, Señor Coyote?"

"This drift you speak of, senor. Is it much like your thousand bricks? Will it also fall upon me with great force? And what of this tomato? Such a waste of food, senor! It would be a complete injustice to the tomato! Could you perhaps crush something that is not quite so tasty? Had you only tasted of the meaty tomato, coupled with the oh so succulent avocado! Rained over with a fine drizzle of the virgin olive oil! Had you this pleasure, señor, you would not be treating it in such a way as this!"

"I'm afraid you're not seeing the big picture, Señor Coyote! No! The tomato is only a simile! A comparison! Meaning you will not be difficult to defeat! You will fold like a house of cards!"

"This house of cards of which you speak!" said the coyote. "Will it have the audacity of one such as I to stand up to a thousand bricks, and perhaps several hundred sun-ripened tomatoes?"

"You, sir," said Extraordinary Cat, “are an imbecile!"

Isaac's mom put the comic book down on the bed and looked over at her sleepy son.

"Oh, for goodness sake! I can't take anymore of this comic book, Issac! Can I read you something from Treasure Island? Alice in Wonderland, perhaps? Oliver Twist? It was my favorite, you know.”

“But it’s no fun when you’ve seen all the movies, Mom. Read me something I haven’t seen.”

“We’ve been awfully lazy parents, haven’t we, Isaac? Sticking you in front of the TV like we do. All because of a selfish desire for peace and quiet. To be able to lay our heads in the freezer on a hot summer’s day without a care in the world. But at what cost? Do you feel that you have a good grip on reality, Isaac? And that your brain cells are all present and accounted for?”

“I’m four years old, Mom. I’ll recover. And if you treat your past behavior as a cautionary tale, I feel that you and Dad will grow as parents. There is more than plenty of hope, and time, Mom.”

“I’m so glad you think so, Isaac. I’ve been a bit worried.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Mom. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, so far. All we have is now and what comes after. Think of the past as a peach pit in the sand. It’s best to leave it behind and let the tide wash it out to sea, along with all the other garbage that people leave on the beach. Let’s begin anew. With love in our hearts and hope in our pockets!”

“Peach pit in the sand?” said his mother. “Hope in our pockets? My goodness! We have destroyed your poor young mind! Those are lines from one of my soap operas!”

“I know," said Isaac. "The Young and the Spineless. It’s one of my favorites. But I promise not to watch it any more, Mom.  No more television for me.  Promise.”

Upon hearing this, the little dragon stirred in his bed and let out with a flaming bellow. It was one of his favorite soap operas, as well. It was going to be a sleepless night.