By ice rivers
The first time that I ever heard the word "berserk" was in relationship to a professional wrestling match between bad guy Fritz Von Erich and good guy Bobo Brazil. Fritz was obviously playing the role of an arrogant, goose stepping Nazi reminder and Bobo was a huge black guy representing I guess good guy black guys (at least in comparison to fake Nazis). The sterotype at the time was that Bobo had a head like a rock so he used a "hold" called the CoCo butt where he slammed his rock like head into the head of his opponent and went on for the pin. Against the hated Von Erich, after Bobo had cocoed Fritz to the canvas, he didn't bother going for the pin, rather he picked Fritz up and butted him again. He kept repeating the process until Fritz was "unconscious" and then kept going. The announcer started yelling "Bobo Brazil has bone berserk". Security men rushed into the ring and Bobo started coco butting them and between coco butting security, he would return to the "unconscious" Fritz, pick him up, hold him up and butt him down. Finally about 30 guys showed up in the ring. Bobo was able to coco butt probably fifteen of them until he was finally over powered and taken to the dressing room. They loaded Fritz onto a stretcher and proceeded to take him to the hospital at which point Bobo broke free from his dresing room and still "berserk" ripped Fritz from the stretcher and started coco butting him all over again until some keystone cops showed up and put Bobo under arrest and hauled him away in a fake cop car.
By some coincidence, most of the guys in my neighborhood happened to be tuned ito wrestling that day. When we met later, everybody kept screaming "bobo Brazil has gone berserk...Bobo has gone berserk" and laughing. For the rest of the summer "berserk' became a comon descriptor of many actions and reactions at the field. Everybody was always going berserk.
I haven't thought of the word berserk until this morning because last night, I went berserk and I'm in the aftermath of that unexplainable fury this morning.
Maybe you've been there.
Over the past two years, I've been gradually losing weight. Over the past two months, the weight loss has been purposeful as I've been counting calories, limiting myself to 1600 a day and learning to love it.
Oreo cookies had been a nemesis until I finally figured out an image that would enable me to cut down on Oreos. I came to believe that I was an Oreoholic. One Oreo was too many and a whole package was not enough. If I have one, I'm gonna have ten and a quart of milk to wash 'em down. I learned to resist their temptation. I couldn't have ten if I didn't have one
I know that the holidays are approaching. The problem here is to celebrate within boundaries. Our first holiday temptation was a get together with Mark and Darlene at our place. Mark too has been losing weight. Mark and I predicted two years ago that we would lose 50 pouns collectively. As of yesterday we had dropped 46.
Lynn had planned a healthy meal, steak, twice baked potatoes, brussel sprouts and salad with a small scoop of sorbet for desert. Darlene wanted to know if she could bring anything. Lynn said that we have everything covered so just bring yourselves. Mark and Dar arrived on time. Dar had brought with her a baker's dozen home made peanut butter cookies with a Hershy kiss on top of each.
I thought that I might be in trouble.
I grabbed a Bud Light as a protection from the cookies as I'm not crazy about the combination of chocolate peanut butter and beer. I looked at the Bud as a bit of an innoculation. Next thing I knew, I was standing over our grill cooking the steak and the brusell sprouts with yet another Bud Light in my hands.
We brought the food in from the grill. I took a reasonable portion. I was feeling confident. The conversation around the table was invigorating without becoming political. Finally Lynn, brought out the tiny dishes of raspberry sorbet ice cream and Darlene's cookies.
I had one cookie and one scoop of ice cream.
Then I had two more cookies and another serving of ice cream.
Then another and another until I realized that I had stampeded over my total caloric boundaries for the next three days on cookies and ice cream alone. I didn't care. I snuck in a couple more servings as I didn't want my table companions to see how my self-discipline was crumbling.
Finally, I rose from the table and took away the few remaining cookies. I realized it was too late. I had consumed at least 4800 calories.....triple what I had become accustomed to. It had only taken a few minutes to blow myself out of the water.
I had gone berserk.
Yeah, I know, it's not like I hurt anybody or went to jail or took a fall. I had celebrated and what's wrong with celebration? But in my heart I realized that I had once again proven my ability to resist everything but temptation. I was/ still am capablf going berserk.
Before writing this, I took an abashed look at the surviving cookies. I shook my head. I knew I had to get those things the hell out of the house before I ate them all. I decided to take a picture of the cookies. I got my camera. I took the picture. Then I ate the cookies.
I'm still berserk.