A Bird Responds Minus Irony

You expect us to be more responsible? Whaddya kidding me. How about cats and windows. 
Let’s start with cats, the assholes. Every year during our breeding season, they are particularly savage. They should be kept indoors. It’s not just hunting, cats kill us simply because they’re bored and are trying to get even more attention from the humans that they own. Billions of us are murdered by “playful” cats every year. C’mon pay attention to these vicious predators with their stalking, pouncing and claws and teeth. Defang and declaw the bastards

And get rid of your windows. They kill millions of us each year. You seemingly invite us in to crash but we crash and never get in and if we do, which is rare, you freak out and sic the cat on us. The least you can do is invest in Venetian blinds or simple black out shades. 
All we’re trying to do is entertain you with our songs, breed, build nests and head South. Of course when we are in the air, the only things we have to worry about are the hunters and airplanes. 

We never forget what happened to the carrier pigeons.

Neither should you.

Ever