Hyper Attention Activity Deficit Disorder
By ice rivers
Over the past thirty years, we’ve become increasingly familiar with the designation ADHD. Attention deficit, hyperactive disorder. The paradoxical Ritalin confronts this disorder.
I think I suffer from another malady. Hyper attention, activity deficit disorder. HAAD. I can pay some serious attention to stimulus but sometimes I have a hard time getting off my couch to get ‘er done.
We teachers are famous/infamous for our ongoing mantra to our classes…”pay attention”.
Perhaps, most of us were/ are simply suffering from HAAD and were/are striving to share our disorder while simultaneously overcompensating for it.
Right now, for example, I’m paying serious attention to these words that are a reflection of the attention that I am paying to an idea that suggests and antonymnic relationship between anachronisms ADHD and HAAD one of which (HAAD) I’m actually inventing.
All of this is done while sitting in a chair.
Meanwhile Lynn is cooking breakfast.
I’ve often sought a cure for my perceived HAAD.
Unfortunately, the cure was beer, which Homer Simpson correctly defined as the cause of and solution to most of the world’s problems.
As of today, I’m going to start paying attention to discovering a new less intoxicating, less paradoxical remedy. Finding a remedy is a problem that demands solution. The first step in solving any problem is definition of the problem itself thus the rationale for my second paragraph.
I wonder if any of you suffer from HAAD?
If you have paid attention to this entry up to an beyond these very words, then you may be exhibiting a symptom particularly if reading these words is taking you away from some task that you might be attending to if you weren’t reading them which of course wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t writing them but who are we kidding if you weren’t reading these words and I wasn’t typing them, we’d probably be reading something else of talking to someone or listening to someone talk or watching teevee, (which I did this morning while still in bed, when I actually watched and listened to other people speaking and listening to one another on Meet The Press) or listening to some music or finding some music to listen to or…..
Whoops, Lynn just yelled up and told me to get off the writing and find her some music. She wants some Zydeco. She likes her some Zydeco so I’m paying attention to what she wants. I’m ending this writing for now and going to Spotify to find some Zydeco I immediately think of Buckwheat or Clifton Chenier so I’m gonna get off now but I’m not gonna get up out of my chair which means I’m going to continue doing what I’ve been doing only in another form and that
If you’ve been paying attention