Josephine

O Josephine,
how i miss you
so terribly,
sometimes all this war makes me sad,
I long to see your face,
these Russians
with their parties,
they don't even speak Russian,
and such terrible
French.

When you would sing
your furious cries
full of sound and fury
as you cheated on me,
I almost died,
my heart died, and i thought
she's got me under her thumb.

What a pretty thumb you have
and such lovely toes,
such a lovely mouth to kiss,
but what do I hear but shouts,
accusations, and glamourized anecdotes.

Oh Josephine, I have run away
from your screams only to find
ugly Russian women.

Je t'aime.

Signed
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE.

P.S. DO NOT CALL ME BONER-PART or NIPPLE-LEON ANYMORE!