Is there anybody out there&;#063;

Ok, so you're a thirty-something single female, good job, nice
house, cat. You have lots of friends but they're all married. They ask
you to lots of dinners and parties but all their friends are couples.
You begin to wonder if you are the only single person in the world. You
join a gym, surely there will be lots of single men there and hopefully
if they belong to a gym they'll be fairly fit! You realise that the
only people who belong to gyms are single girls looking for men and
bouncers from the local night club. You bribe some of your married girl
friends to come out for a girlie night out ( this doesn't take much
bribing) and realise that it's not much fun checking out the talent at
the local pub when you're the only one actually looking and that anyway
the only guys there are 1) Very drunk 2) Very desperate 3) Very
dull.
You begin to wonder where all the smart, witty, eligible batchelors
have gone. Perhaps Robbie Williams is right "all the best women ARE
married all the handsome me ARE gay"
One evening, after yet another meal for one and a bottle of wine and a
romantic comedy on video shared with your cat, you find yourself
browsing through the personal ads in the newspaper. It's a fairly high
quality national paper, some of these men sound quite interesting,
surely they can't ALL be weirdos. After a few days of deliberation you
decide to respond to some of them, after all you just have to ring a
voicemail and leave a message, you can leave your mobile so they
needn't know where you live and if you chat to them on the phone a few
times it doesn't mean you HAVE to meet them?.
You phone a few of the best sounding ads and leave the most stupid
messages you've ever heard. How can you talk about yourself and make
yourself sound like a REALLY interesting person who would be great fun
to meet without making yourself sound completely desparate and
friendless, I mean you ARE answering a personal ad after all so you
must be desperate..but then again THEY did PLACE the ad didn't they so
perhaps they're desperate or there's something dreadfully wrong with
them? But then there's nothing wrong with YOU is there? So they must be
just like you. All their friends are in couples, they work long hours
and can't find that right person.
You wait, and jump every time your mobile rings, and finally one of
them replies. He sounds normal enough, not a trace of mad axe murderer
in his voice. Over the next few days you talk a few times on the phone
and he eventually persuades you to meet him. Still being cautious you
arrange to meet him on a Saturday lunchtime in a pub right in the
middle of the High Street of your home town. You tell your best friend
exactly when and where you are meeting him and arrange that she will
call your mobile about 15 mins after you've met him, she can make sure
you're ok and if he's really awful you can pretend you've been called
away on a family emergency and make your escape!
The day comes round and you approach the pub to see a lost looking man
standing there after the hesitant "Are you ..?" You find a table and
have a drink, 15 mins later your phone rings and you assure your friend
you are fine whilst trying not to alert him to the fact you're doing
so. He of course knows and is quite impressed by your caution. You have
a pleasant lunch. You realise how nice it is to have a conversation
with another adult who is there just to be with you. At the end of
lunch you both shake hands and say "We must get together again" but you
both know you wont. It was a nice couple of hours but you're never
going to have a relationship and you know you'll probably never speak
again. But you've made the first step and nothing dreadful has happened
and it was actually quite fun so as you walk away up the street you're
thinking "That third ad in the paper this morning looked quite
promising, I'll call when I get home".