S: 11/15/02

Work Diary, 11/15/02

Things I've Heard That Have Caused Me Inexplicable Jealousy Verging On
Rage:

1. "My first memory is sitting on a shed, sucking sugar cane and
watching the snakes in the road." - Suriyan, the office techie, on his
childhood in Thailand. Don't you hate it when people so flippantly come
up with the perfect words for the beginning of a story?

2. "I only have two pairs of shoes." - Brandon, a nineteen-year-old
friend. Perhaps my reaction stemmed from Brandon's youth and perfect
feet, of which I have neither.

3. "Okay, bye-bye, pumpkin." - Chris, my partner. He said this to a
friend on the phone, but "pumpkin" is MY pet name. (Maybe this one
isn't so "inexplicable.")

4. "I'm sending you this book. My friend wrote it." - A voicemail from
Jean, an old high school friend. Do I even need to explain?

5. "I'm from San Francisco." - Jeff, a college friend. When I left
Houston to move to Colorado, and discovered the nearest bus stop to my
new suburban home was two miles in either direction, I stood at the
window and cried. Very dramatic, very teen.

6. "I make between $100,000.00 and $150,000.00." - An unknown man at
the airport, who was responding to a survey. I was the one giving the
survey, a job that would last a weekend and after which I had no
prospects. I did, however, have plenty of credit card debt.

7. "I'm Irish." - Noel, a friend-who-I-guess-is-no-longer-a-friend. We
Americans are suckers for an accent. In particular, I crave anything
that's not the flat, nasally whine of Colorado.

8. "I'm pre-med." - Steve, both a high school and college friend, who
really did become a doctor. To this day, I still feel railroaded in my
choice of college degree, which was a sprinkling of English literature
and grammar courses in preparation for a teaching job. Even the mighty
Shakespeare himself became a sitcom.