J ~ I must have loved

I must have loved Chloe
for four years, via letter
I can chart it from the luminous
transparency of her fuschia
swimming costume, and the two
cardinal spots beneath -
in La Val de Loire, I was thirteen -
to Devon in her room,
and the lapels of leather
thick as cold pizza
that rose from her heels and guarded
the barrel of her neck jealously
I was very angry - at them, and me
and my hair.

In between those two outfits
all across my chart like the
footprints
of some ballet dancer in muddy boots,
I received soap and heather
and cards with gold leaf
through the post. And because
I was still very young, that
was all I needed to have.
Not her spots or legs.