Rubber Bands and Sand

Ruber Bands and Sand
By Jan Williams

When I was five years old my mom and dad came and told me that they had
something very special to tell me. They said it was something wonderful
and it would change our whole family for ever. I could not guess what
it was but I knew it made my mom and dad very happy because they could
not stop smiling. They told me to guess what the surprise was.
"A puppy!" I shouted excitedly.
"No, not a puppy" replied mom and dad.
"A swimming pool?" I asked.
"No", they said together, It's not a swimming pool"
After a few more guesses I decided to give up. I just could not think
what the surprise could be. My mom and dad looked at each other as if
they were talking to each other without using their mouths. Then they
nodded at each other and then lokked at me.
"Well Jason dear", began my mother as she took my father's hand.
"We are going to have a baby " she continued.
"A baby?" I gasped.
"Yes dear, a little baby. Doctor John told us that he or she would be
here in January, which is seven months away from today".
I was very happy about the news because I had always wanted a brother
or sister to play with. I had always thought about how good it would be
to have someone to talk to, and to ride my bike with.
I was glad also that he or she would not be coming too soon because all
those months gave me plenty of time to prepare.
As the months went by my mom's tummy grew bigger and bigger. My mom
explained that this was a sign that the baby was getting ready to come
to live with us, and that he or she was growing.
Finally January came and my dad told me that the baby could come any
day now. One afternoon after school when the weather was too cold to
play outdoors, I decided to play in my room with my dad on my computer.
While we were playing, my mom came into the room with a very strange
look on her face.
"It's time" she said smiling gently as she held on to the door.
Thinking that she was talking about dinnertime I told her, "No thanks
mom I'm not hungry yet"
I had no idea what was going on.
"The baby is ready to come now," she continued. "So we have to go to
the hospital"
My dad jumped up and helped my mom downstairs He quickly reminded me of
our plan we had talked about for when the baby came, so that I would
know what was going on, and not be confused by all of the strange
activities.
I remember I stayed with my aunty Karen for a few days, while my
parents went to the hospital to help my baby brother or sister to be
born. When they brought the baby home I was very excited to find that
it was a boy. We all agreed to call him Evan. He was very tiny when he
first arrived and I was a little disappointed because I could not play
with him straight away.
Evan did not remain tiny for long, and very soon he was learning to
crawl, stand, and feed himself. When he learned how to walk I taught
him how to play peek -a -boo, hide - and - seek, and follow - the -
leader. We had so much fun together.
By the time Evan was two he could say quite a few words. We loved to
hear him say mama, dada, and JJ for my name because he could not say
Jason. My mom and dad said that he was very, very, clever in a very
unusual way because he could read big words that no - one had ever
taught him. He could sometimes read words that I couldn't read. The
strange thing was that he did not remember many other things like
numbers and colours. Usually, when we had quiet time on Sunday
afternoons he would chose to read the dictionary, while we read story
books and magazines. Evan and I played very well together most of the
time, but more and more often Evan would become very upset when things
did not go his way. This made playing with him not so much fun at
times. Sometimes he would break my toys and scribble in my books for no
reason at all. My mom said that he was just going through the "Terrible
Two's" and that he would grow out of it within a few months.
As Evan grew older he became even more angry and upset; now it seemed
to be almost all of the time. Sometimes he would throw himself down on
the floor and scream at the top of his voice, often we did not know
why. He stopped using most of the words he had learned, and instead
preferred to point, or pull us in the direction of something he wanted.
He also played a game of repeating everything that people said to him.
We told him that it was not polite but he didn't seem to understand. We
thought that he just did not want to talk to us anymore.
We didn't play together much anymore, and he didn't seem interested in
toys at all. Instead he preferred to sit by himself and play with
rubber bands, watching their movement as they bounced when he stretched
them and then let them go. At other times he would sit and play with
his fingers, clicking them and listening to the sounds they made. His
favourite thing was to watch sand fall from between his fingers, as he
grabbed handfuls of it in the sand box.
Evan also loved trains, all kinds of trains. He didn't want to play
with them, he just enjoyed watching them go around and around on the
tracks . As he watched them he would rock back and forth to the rythym,
sometimes it seemed like he didn't even blink.
Evan was what mom always called a very 'picky' eater. He only liked
certain foods, and would drink nothing but milk or grape juice. He
would only use his 'midget - mouse' cup and bowl, and if he didn't get
them he would scream and cry, and refuse to eat his food.
One night I heard my mom and dad talking quietly, they were very
worried about Evan and didn't know why he acted so differently to other
children. The next day they told me that Evan would be going to see a
special doctor who could help him to have happier days.
After a few visits to see Doctor Dawson my parents told me that he said
that Evan is a very special boy. He and his friends had done many tests
on my brother and found out that most of the time Evan sees, hears, and
feels things very differently to the way we do. This is what causes him
to act differently. They explained that because he is unable to speak
the way we do, he gets very upset when we do not understand what he
needs. My parents said that Evan is not the only one like that, and
that there are many children and adults all over the world that are
also special in this way.
I understood most of what they were saying, but I still had many
questions:
"Will it go away?"
"Did he do something to cause it?"
"Could I get it?"
"What is it called?"
My parents were very helpful in trying to help me to understand, and
tried to answer most of my questions. Their answer to my last question
was probably one of the easiest.
"Your brother has something called Autism, he is therefore Autistic,
just like many other boys and girls all over the world."
I began to get a little confused.
"But I always thought that artistic meant that someone liked drawing,
or painting, or writing" I said puzzled.
"No dear," my mother said lovingly, "we are talking about being
autistic, which is something quite different."
We talked for a long time, and my parents tried to answer all of my
questions. They even had a special book, which told us a lot more about
autism.
The doctor told my parents that they would not be able to cure Evan,
but was able to give my parents lots of ideas on how to help him.
I was very excited for Evan because we were told that he would be able
to be in a special class for children similar to him for most of the
day. Here all of the teachers understood all about autism and were
specially trained to teach and play with autistic children all day. The
most exciting thing for us was that since many of the children in
Evan's class could not speak like other children, they would learn
other ways to talk . Some of the childen used their hands to talk, mom
said this was called sign language; others used pictures or little
talking machines. I knew this would be great for Evan.
One afternoon after school, Evan's teacher came to our house to show us
something called a com-mun-ni-cation system. I could not say the word
properly but mom explained that it was something that would help Evan
to talk to us using 'picture cards', with words on them. The teacher
explained to us that one of the main reasons why autistic children
scream and cry is because people do not understand what they need,
which makes them angry. She said it was very important for us all to be
able to understand each other, and thought she could help our family.
She had a whole book full of little pictures. I think there was a
picture of everything I could ever think of in that book. She said that
Evan used a book just like this at school, and because he was doing so
well they thought he should try it at home. By pointing to the pictures
in the book Evan was able to tell us what he needed, how he felt, and
even what day of the week it was. He could even say if he was sick or
needed to go to the bathroom. It was great; Evan was talking to us
again.
One day while I was playing outside on a breezy autumn afternoon, Evan
came running towards me. His cheeks were rosy, eyes sparkling, and his
book was wide open.
"Hello Evan", I said "what's wrong?"
As he came closer I saw that he was smiling. He lifted up his book and
started to rapidly flip the pages until he came to the one he wanted.
He looked at me and then looked back at his book. He then took out and
held one of the pictures towards me. When I looked at the picture I
could not believe my eyes; I had waited my whole life for this moment.
I looked at Evan, looked at the picture, and then looked back at Evan.
Evan was showing me the picture of PLAY. Evan wanted to play WITH
ME!
That day Evan and I played together all afternoon. we played hide and
seek, tag, and pirates. We had a so much fun. Evan was now happier than
he ever was before.
Sometimes he still had difficult days, and still enjoyed watching
trains. He also still enjoyed rocking back and forth, and watching the
sand run through his fingers. He would still cry at times, but it was
easier for us to help him, because now we knew how. My mom explained
that it was not unusual for people with autism to enjoy certain
activities more than other people would. Or to do things that some
people found strange.
My whole family seemed so much happier now. Secretly though, I think I
was the happiest of all, because I finally got what I had always
wanted, my little brother back.