Until I get to Heaven

Until I get to heaven

It doesn't matter how long I live
It matters how I use my time
To be as productive as possible
And to learn the lessons
And succeed at what I do
Or fail
And become a stronger person in doing so.

Until I get to heaven
Myself I will be
I will not be the other person
I will stand out
Like red amongst yellow petals
But I will stand out for me
And not for the sake of standing.

In my life I will love and be loved in return
I will feel the rejection of love and pain
Of death and I don't want to
But I will embrace it and endure it.
In weakening I become stronger.

I will thank those who like me
And hug those who hate me
I will kiss those who have hurt me through
Any means
They have made me
I have seen how I cope
In the face of such glory or misery
And through them I know who I am.

Until I get to heaven
Each day will be my last
And when I am granted a new day I will be
Surprised
And forever grateful to who or what gave it to me.
I will not assume I know any answers
I can only hope and dream the future
For the mean time-
That is until I get to heaven-
I will be happy and enjoy having life in my body
And when its gone
And the last air is drawn
I will appreciate the emptiness
For I have relished the overflow.