Why I know so much about limestone
By jamesfromtheusa
- 380 reads
Why I Know So Much about Limestone
The Essays: A Selection
"They who labor in the earth are the chosen people of God"
- Thomas Jefferson, on quarrymen
The following are selected interpretations from a period not so long
ago, during which time the author was completely out of his mind. He
was living in a small town in Southern Illinois and working at a rock
quarry nearby. He had vowed to live a monastic life, consisting of
nothing more than work and sleep, and an occasional trip to the
restroom. In his quest for purity, the author had completely sworn off
all harmful substances, except, of course, for doughnuts and
cigarettes. The following are only a portion of the volumes of work
collected during this time, to be published soon under the working
title, Never Buy a Truck from a Hog Farmer. Some of the following
selections are exaggerations. The rest are completely untrue.
On Names
I got my job here through a relation. My uncle Ron drives the
front-end loader. I catch him watching me sometimes as he stands on the
hood of his truck and pisses onto a pile of one-inch. Ron looks out for
me around here. He offers me his coffee when my thermos runs dry. He
offers me his cigarettes when my pack turns up empty. He offered me his
Carhards once in the dead of winter. I trudged through the frozen mud
as Ron watched from inside the heated cab of his truck. When I
returned, he had drunk all my coffee and smoked all my cigarettes, but
such is the price one pays for a good pair of Carhards.
Folks look out for their own out here. Half the people employed at the
quarry got thgenre>
- Log in to post comments