If I Took....

By jlp303

Fri, 26 Jun 2009
  • 826 reads
3 comments
 

If I took my life what would I choose?
Some pills, a knife, a gun,
Would I say goodbye to anyone?

And if I took my life, who would I miss?
My brother, my mum, my dad,
In death would it really feel that bad?

If I took my life, where would it end?
In thin hair, heaven, in hell,
I'd be dead so couldn't tell...

So let's pretend I end my life,
I'd leave behind my kids and wife.
They'd convince themselves I'd made mistakes,
that I longed to really be awake,
to see the love people had for me,
to fight the demons that made me flee.

But this is not a game I play,
I end up dead because of who I am.
I can't pretend that I am happy,
that therpay will make me better,
or that other's love will make me see,
that I can be a better me.

So if I took my life, what would change?
My family, friends, society?
I guess I won't be here to see.

Certificate 18
Welcome to MY Sanitarium
Drama

Comments

Submitted by Jupiter on
Hi jlp. Your teaser for this one says "the arrogance of suicide" I don't imagine that many, if any, who go through with it felt superior, more likely the opposite. Perhaps the futility of suicide might be more appropriate? Other than for the protagonist of course. What do you think?

Submitted by jlp303 on
I'm sure many don't feel superior and take your point fully. But what when they do? Is suicide futile if it is the single, overwhelming, action that person chooses to take? I do take your point though and will bear it in mind if my writing continues to mirror some personal grief about the issue. Nice to get my first comment though... it made my day! JP

Submitted by Jupiter on
Your first comment JP - that's outrageous ;-) but I see your first submission was only three days ago so perhaps not :) Well of course it's not futile for the person involved in my opinion as I said before because it achieves their desired goal, but if as you yourself suggest "They'd convince themselves I'd made mistakes, that I longed to really be awake, to see the love people had for me, to fight the demons that made me flee." then all that is accomplished is their own death and a whole lot of sadness but no real change otherwise. Regarding the poem, I particularly liked the change of pace at the verse starting : "So let's pretend I end my life, I'd leave behind my kids and wife."