the Captain's Constitutional
By john_king
- 52 reads
The
Captain’s Constitutional
2025
Staging / FX
Simple staging, light to follow Capt. Salter.
FX: Music / street cries /traffic tape or cast members
Cast
Captain Edward Salter MC
Narrator (of stage directions) and other cast members to be played / voice by two / three others –
Chatsworth
Telegram boy
Promenaders..
Veteran
Alderman Braithwaite
Sybil
The Captain’s Constitutional
Act 1 Scene 1 - INT
Early evening at the Grand Hotel, Spring 1918
Chatsworth, the hotel manager setting out the evening papers.
A calm atmosphere interrupted.
Post Office Telegram boy enters foyer breathless from cycling
Boy
Telegram, Telegram, immediate, Captain Edward Salter MC
Chatsworth
Is that noise really necessary, son? Leave that with me. I’ll see the Captain receives it immediate.
Boy
War Office it says here, Big Push, recall, I shouldn’t wonder
Chatsworth
I’ll give you big push if you don’t hop it sharpish
Salter enters from grand staircase, faintly singing ‘we’re here because we’re here because…’ full officer’s dress, MC ribbon, adjusting cufflinks, dashing. Stops abruptly on seeing telegram boy.
Salter
Something on, Chatsworth? I’ve had more peaceful evenings on the Vimy Ridge.
To boy
Good evening, young man, which outfit are you with? King’s Own Rifles?
Boy
Saluting. I wish. Royal Mail sir, 16 next year, can’t wait…
Salter
No doubt the show will be over by then, sunshine. And don’t salute me. Not wearing my cap. Regulations. Nothing for me then, Chatsworth?
Chatsworth
Not as yet, sir. Enjoy your constitutional. Fine evening for it, if I may be so bold.
Salter
Thank you Chatsworth. As I said the moment you hear anything…
Chatsworth
Right you are, sir.
Salter saunters out whistling ‘ Let the great big world keep turning.’
The boy is waiting.
Chatsworth
He will have the telegram immediately after his evening stroll. Another hour won’t change the world. Captain deserves it after all he’s been through. Promise, lad.
He offers him a coin.
Scene 2 - EXT
Boy leaves ringing his bell cheerily as he passes Salter on the promenade calling out - Good luck, sir
Salter on the promenade. Sound of waves, horses, a pleasant evening throng…
News vendor
Extra, evening special, push for imminent victory?
To Salter. Newspaper sir?
Salter
Not this evening, thank you. I believe I read that one earlier.
News vendor pauses before resuming his cry. Salter strolls on. Humming to himself ‘Down at the Old Bull and Bush.’ He takes deep breaths of sea air, cordial greetings to everyone he meets:
Local man
Hit ‘em for young ‘un, you tell ‘em from me.
Salter
Good evening my good fellow. And who shall I say told them?
Local girls
1 Hello handsome, buy a girl a drink.
2 Or two
Salter
Good evening Ladies, I’m sure the quartermaster can muster a dry sherry at my quarters after taking this sea air.
Local girls
giggle, moving on but in earshot La-dee da
The stroll continues convivially, waves, seagulls, brass band playing a music hall melody, he sings along, an automobile backfires, he is momentarily disorientated , manages to resume his singing quietly with difficulty, then sounds recede. He sits quietly on bench facing sea. Salter reads out the inscription on the bench. ‘In Memoriam: to those souls who rested here and found peace in this place.’
Veteran
interrupts his reveries
I am so sorry to disturb your peace sir, do you mind if I join you, not so steady on my pins as I once was. Or should I say pin?
Veteran props his crutches and struggles to salute before sitting.
Salter
No need to salute here soldier, the sea doesn’t recognise rank.
Veteran
Nicely put, sir.
They sit contemplating the sound of the waves.
Salter
Where were you, corporal? Forgive me. I shouldn’t ask.
Veteran
Kind of you to ask sir. Some new-fangled machine, a tank they call ‘em, unexploded shell changed its mind, you can see the result. Or the absence of it.
You sir, I’d be honoured to hear your story? Military Cross!
Salter
That? Oh, nothing.
The sound of the sea
Salter
I would like you to accept a cigarette, young man. Finest tobacco. I had them sent up from London.
He pats his military jacket.
Sorry. I must have left my case in the dugout, digs I mean.
Veteran
Not to worry sir. May I look forward to a smoke with you on your next leave?
Salter
Deo volente. It’s my lucky case. Stopped a round in Ypres that had my name on it.
He is becoming agitated.
Must return to my hotel. It has to be there. Lucky you see. Luck.
He is leaving
I have to go, corporal. Forgive me.
He is hurrying along the front, the noises of the promenade seem less convivial, motor vehicles, a military lorry, a dog, the brass band playing a military march… He bumps into a man.
Salter
Excuse me. My error.
Alderman
I say, that you, Captain Salter? Alderman Braithwaite. It was my privilege to present to you the Freedom of the County . I am so pleased to see you exercising it.
Sybil my dear, this is Captain Salter I was telling you of, youngest MC in the British Army. Allow me to present my daughter Sybil.
Salter
Alderman Braithwaite. Miss Sybil, how absolutely enchanting.
Please excuse me.
Alderman
You are in a hurry young man. Anyone would think you were expecting a telegram from the King. A splendid evening for a port at the Grand. Speak up, Sybil.
Sybil
Do join us, Captain, do…
Salter
Please accept my apologies.
From across the road the call of a flower seller
Flower seller
Lavender, lovely lavender, flowers for your sweetheart
Sybil
There be another time, Captain, I’m sure.
Salter
Edward please. I am sorry, where are my manners? What is your favourite flower, Miss Sybil? Something to remember me by.
Alderman
I say, Salter, no call to upset the girl.
Flower Seller
Lovely flowers, flowers for your sweetheart.
Salter
Do you like lavender, Sybil? It is some time since I saw lavender. Wait here a moment. I will be back directly.
Chorus (all the cast members)
Look out, Captain Salter, be careful, comeback, look out
He rushes across the road. Cacophony of noise, heavy motor vehicles, shouts of men.
White noise/ The sound of the waves/ Fade
The Captain’s Constitutional
/
jk c2024
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Comments
Nicely plotted out. Are you
Nicely plotted out. Are you posting as you write? I'd definitely really more of this.
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