Love the Language

I LOVED THE LANGUAGE SO MUCH I BOUGHT IT

A new short story by

John F King

It was towards the end of his first lesson when Franco realised he was
in love with his teacher. She asked him where he was born. No woman had
ever asked him that before and listened to his answer so keenly,
listened to him as if he was the only man in the world.
" Franco. "
He drifted off momentarily, thinking of the first time he had seen
Miriam. She was coming out of her office, with another teacher, who he
now knew to be Lucinda. Miriam was saying " I understand your reasons,
we all move on sooner or later. " Franco couldn't then know the
content, the context, but listened to the tone: mellifluous,
mellifluous, m...
" Franco ? "
" I am being born in Naples, " said Franco.
" No, " said Miriam sternly. " Again, Franco, please. Think of the
tense I am using in my question. Now, where were you born? "
" I was born in Naples ".
" Thank you. Well done. Tenses. So called because they make every one
tense. Tomorrow: last day. Social English, for those delicate touches.
Now we'll stop for lunch. This afternoon, Veneer at the local art
gallery. Meet 2pm. "

" Veneer, " repeated Franco, " veneer ". He liked to experiment with
the sound of new words, the way you had to move the tongue, the lips.
This word even felt like it's meaning; smooth with nothing discernable
underneath. Just like the English, thought Franco. He'd been here for
three weeks now. Franco the English as a Foreign Language Student. Or
as his teacher always quipped, the man who puts the F in Foreigner.
Everyone he met was so friendly, kind, nice. Yet he always felt there
must be more.

Three weeks at The Oxford College. Of course it wasn't actually an
Oxford College. Franco smiled as he remembered the sunny afternoon in
Naples, at home, surfing the net, the words Oxford English in the
Google search engine. He didn't feel deceived, he had found what he
wanted, what he expected. It was the definite article, it taught good
English. Oxford English believed Franco. The Principal not only spoke
beautifully, she was beautiful.

Franco had seen her photograph on the Internet. Miriam Montford M A (
Oxon ),
Principal of The Oxford College of Contemporary English. Classy touch
that thought Franco. Classy, another word he had learned only a few
days ago. He loved it. Franco was an exemplary student, earnest, yes,
but what he loved was picking up the vernacular, really getting inside
the language. Classy. Of course that was Miriam Montford all over. The
portrait Franco had seen on The Oxford College web site was clever. It
drew you in. Miriam looked like the business. She'd correct you if you
made a mistake, wouldn't fob you off. You felt you could approach her
at a social event, of which The Oxford College promised many and much.
She looked reachable. Just.

"Hi, Franco, glad you are here. Cool. " It was Lucinda. Trendy Luce as
she was known to the college students. Most of the words she used
couldn't be found in any dictionary. And as for her teaching
methods...no paper, no books, no right or wrong. " Pleased to meet you,
" replied Franco. He knew as soon as he said it it wasn't right. Stiff.
Inappropriate. Of course Lucinda didn't correct him. It wouldn't be
cool.
"You look like it "
She always seemed to be flirting. Franco, though often typecast as a "
Mediterranean " never flirted back. Not with Lucinda.
" Look like what? "
" Look like you are pleased to see me. "
" What do you want, Lucinda? " Again the tone wasn't quite right. Too
curt, aggressive rather than assertive. Perhaps only native speakers
could really do that.
Of course it merely allowed Lucinda the encouragement to keep on
going.
" I love it when you're like that. Are you grooving on the gallery?
Always had you down as a sensitive, arty type. "
Franco was enjoying the gallery. It was cool, but not in Lucinda's
sense of the word. Cool, thought provoking, centring. He was pleased to
be there, but didn't want to spend the time jousting with Lucinda. Her
unawareness of her vacuity irritated him. He wanted to spend the time
alone with Veneer, perspectives collecting his thoughts, thinking of
exactly what he would say to Miriam later when the time was right. How
to say the right thing, and how to say it correctly.

Miriam wasn't indifferent to Franco's charm. His linguistic infelicity
only added to this. Of course he was rich. A suave, successful
businessman. CEO, Globale IT systems, it read on his enrolment form. As
Miriam checked her hat in the mirror she checked thoroughly and
honestly, that the fact that Franco was wealthy had no impact on her
initial attraction for him. It was true. There was a chemistry between
them. It was an undeniable wealth-free based truth.
Franco saw her in the ante-gallery, with a group of other students. He
didn't interrupt her as the head of the English school explained the
Dutch school to a group of Japanese students in English. She caught his
eye and held it. He looked away first.
Sometimes you don't need words in any language.

It was the last day of the last term. Franco and his class comrades
didn't know who would be teaching that day. Of course he hoped it would
be Miriam. He analysed honestly why. It was because she was the best
teacher, she taught in the way he learned. She had a body of knowledge,
she knew how to convey it, she listened.
She taught.
In burst Trendy Luce. Franco would have to formalise his plan later,
just before the final day party.
" Parteee " announced Luce. " It's like the last day. Tonight we're
gonna party so you need to dress right and you need to speak right.
Right? Social English, expressions you will need, let's get real. I'm
going to deal you some situations, you're going to match me up some
responses. Lets kick off. Franco, you're cornered at a party by the
biggest bore in the room. What could you say? Gently does it. "
" What do you mean cornered? " asked Franco.

" Like, trapped, hemmed in, like this, " she demonstrated, standing in
front of him.
The rest of the students smiled. Franco wasn't amused.
" I'd be saying something liking this: Have you met X ? - find another
bore and put them together like this..." He demonstrated, using Lucinda
as the stand in bore.
" You're not like insinuating anything now are you, Franco ? "
" In sin, in sin, or anything, no, of course not."

The chemistry between Franco and Lucinda had never been positive. It
was not clear why. Franco remembered some of the idioms he had tried to
master from his previous lessons. Frosty. You could cut the atmosphere
with a fork. She always seemed to be looking for something from him, he
had decided she was the sort of teacher from whom he had nothing to
learn. No content. And she wasn't M ....
Suddenly the door opened. The frost thawed.
" Afternoon everyone. Thank you Lucinda. I believe you have a farewell
party to prepare for. It is traditional for The Principal to take the
last lesson of the term.
Let's continue where Lucinda left off. Social situations, diplomacy,
nuance.
" Do you mean Lucinda is preparing a farewell party for us or preparing
to say farewell to us? Who is leaving whom? "
" Excellent Franco" , replied Miriam. " I can see the work on
prepositions has paid off. As for the party, all will be revealed. Now
social situations and diplomacy. Try this. You want to invite a
colleague to dinner, but you don't want to appear too forward or
...
" pushy " interjected Franco, keen to show his mastery of idioms. After
all it was the last day.

The party was, thought Franco, a classy affair. So English. The
triangular sandwiches, those funny biscuits - crackers. Those
improbable combinations; cheese and chalk, no, cheese and pineapple?
Everyone in good spirits, the egalitarianism of last days. Miriam
arriving in her best hat. So that speeches could be made above the
hub-hub a mini PA system had been rigged up by the technical
people.

Miriam tapped the mike as if it would burn her. Like many people in her
position she thought technology would always go wrong, it would be a
barrier to communication, it wasn't neutral. Franco suddenly realised
she was going to make a speech. It had always been his plan to speak to
her privately before any valedictories.
Without thinking he grabbed the microphone first.
" Gentleman and Ladies, I am having your attention please. " He
certainly did thought Miriam, realising she was expecting a drama. "
Please look forward to a short rhetoric to be made by Miriam briefly.
It is concerning the future of the school."
After a silence as long as an intake of breath the hub-hub
resumed.
" Franco, what is all this? It may be the last day but you are still a
student just like all the others. "
" I am going to propose to you, " said Franco.
" Franco, this is not the time and place for..."
" I am going to buy the school, Miriam. "
" I've come across some last day pranks in my time but... "
" I'm being Frank. Here are the figures. "
Miriam knew it was serious. Franco's deals in the European markets had
filled many a column in the FT.
" That is certainly generous. "

" There is a condition. Lucinda leaves. The school will teach English
the way you speak. "
" I am honoured by your financial offer Franco. But I don't accept
diktats. And as for Lucinda, her English is as valid as anyone's. You
may be able to buy a school, but you can't buy the language. English is
a global language. My accent is a dialect, one among all the others
worldwide. "
" Your answer please Miriam. Now. "
" You are, Franco, a student like all the others. Now I was making an
announcement. "
Miriam tapped the microphone again.
" Ladies and gentlemen. Today we are happy and sad. You come to us as
students and leave as friends. And you are not the only ones who are
leaving and facing changes and challenges. We are saying farewell to
you. We are also saying farewell to our colleague Lucinda...."
In the sea of faces Miriam detected the smile on Franco's lips. She
continued, staring pointedly at Franco:
"...who, by an arrangement made at the beginning of our term and by
mutual consent, is leaving to take up a position of Principal of the
Bondi school of English. We all move on sooner or later. Good on yer
Luce, " mimicked Miriam in an appalling, endearing Aussie accent.
" And our final change. We are renaming this school Global to reflect
the way English is changing in the world, belonging to no-one, not even
our new owner, Mr Franco...."
Her speech was interrupted by a sequence of explosions. The champagne
bottles planted around the room by Franco were now being opened in
Grand Prix style. Miriam smiled, the speech left uncompleted. She
descended into the throng and offered Franco a business style
handshake. Franco took her hand and kissed it.
" Champagne and kisses. A revealing cultural response to the conclusion
of a business deal, " said Miriam.
Franco held the eye contact.
" That wasn't for my last proposal, my dear Miriam, it is for my next.
"

END

Words 2000

JFTK
York, September 2003

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